Time is Slowly Moving!!

Well I haven't posted in awhile because I haven't had much to say!!
I have still been having problems with bloat and have kept a light jacket on or something baggy over my belly because it totally looks like I have quite the ponch going on.... hoping it will go away and then come back when it actually is baby!
I am on the countdown for my u/s / OBGYN app... 10 days and counting. I think once I see the heart-beat I will feel much better!
As for symptoms... I don't know if I am making them up because I know they are possible or if they really are symptoms. Other than the obvious bloat, I think my boobs are growing and are randomly sore (thank goodness because I have small little boobies and have always wanted some..lol), and watching my work cat sleep on the printer is making me VERY tired so I am not sure if that's normal Wednesday symptom or preggo.

I think after my June 10th app if all goes well I will be switching my blog to more focus Hopeful4 a healthy baby... so if you are a fellow IF follower and feel like you can't follow... I totally don't blame you!!

The Results are in....

So I have kept delaying blogging about this because I know some readers also are having problems conceiving and I feel bad typing this out (so quit here if you can't read anymore).
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Sunday morning was test day and my birthday.... so either it was going to be a good one or a bad one. I was up 2-3 times to pee over night because I am still very bloated from the OHSS symptoms and it makes less room for my bladder (in my mind I look 4 months preggers already). Anyhoo 7:30am rolls around and I have been up for awhile already waiting for DH to wake up and low and behold he was waiting for me to wake up. So I asked if it was ok if I went and 'made pee' and off I went. I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door and hubby would say when it was time to go in and we both looked together (I had to tell him while we were waiting that 2 lines is good and 1 is bad). So we go in look at the stick and low and behold ~~~~TWO VERY NICE LOOKING LINES~~~~. So as of right now I am preggers and my estimated due date is January 27th. I haven't booked a doctor appointment yet because I haven't even decided where to go yet!? GP 15 minutes down the road or my most favorite doctor OBGYN 1.5hrs down the road who knows lots more about me. I think tomorrow I will call the OBGYN and see if he even wants me back and if not that will be my decision.... but do I really want to be driving that far for every appointment? I am going to have to drive that far for any u/s anyhow so I dunno!!!!!?
I do know lots could still happen... tubal, m/c... you name it and anything is possible but I am going to enjoy this as long as it lasts!

The rest of the day was really good!!! My sister and her two daughters and my mom all came down for a birthday visit and we went to the greenhouse to flower shop, then they took my out for a yummy lunch. In the afternoon I lounged around and did nothing. And for supper we went down to the lake for a wiener roast with a bunch of hubbies family! So all in all it was a really great birthday!

If you know me please keep this to yourself until I know I am in the clear (12 weeks or maybe even longer...).

2 More Sleeps..

...until test day! I am feeling hopeful in the sense that I think my OHSS symptoms are coming back and they tend to with a pregnancy. And also the fact that I have been waking up in a pool of sweat!! I have been sobbing wet like you could touch my lower back and feel wetness, and normally I am always cold and have the heated blanket on until July!  I don't know if any of this is meaning anything so who knows...
But in the same sense I am feeling like this won't work because the OHSS systems could just be my period on her way (grrr I hope not).
I do know if this does work I am not in the clear by any means and something could still happen so I should try not to get too excited if we get a BFP (big fat positive) but it would be hard to contain myself because I have never ever ever ever had a positive pregnancy test.

The anxiousness has settled in.....uhhhh good times!

Being Patient...

You would think I would be patient by now, after going through this for almost 2.5 years...but NOPE! It seems like everything with infertility is a wait: a wait to get in to see a doctor, a wait for certain day blood tests, ovulation, temperature rises, more doctor waits, waiting for your period, waiting until you were at least close to pee on a stick....ok I could keep going!!!
I am so very impatient and if this worked I can't wait to be excited and if this didn't work I can't wait to move on and get on the list for our frozen blast transfer or to know if I should start to look into adoption or what....

I have been keeping busy so I thought that would help but NOPE. So while baking buns I thought...maybe I am baking a bun in my oven. Lol Or while at a Dinner Theater I see a baby and thought how lucky they were to have that baby so easily....I know people take getting pregnant so quickly for granted. My sister inlaw has 4 kids and she doesn't even know where the sperm meets egg....it took us long to get pregnant with child #3, oh really how long? 3 months! Grrr....
Positive thoughts...have positive outcomes?! I have always hoped so but have gotten hurt in the end so plan for the worst and hope for the best?! I dunno that one doesnt seem right either...so right now I am going to just be hopeful and if this doesn't work then I will deal with that when the time comes!

As far as I know this is the closest I have been to being pregnant so I am trying to take at least this much in!!!

Chow for now!

Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

Well yesterday was our transfer day of our beautiful blastocyst! We got to see a picture of it before the transfer, and also got to watch the little bubble go into my uterus.

They were able to freeze another beautiful blast yesterday and the other 8 were still in the running! Sadly they called today and said we had no more to freeze so I was instantly sad. But this is going to work!!! Right?

And maybe for other future babies my body will just know what to do and get pregnant on our own...at least having 1 on ice will take a little pressure off!!!

And the wait begins..
Test day is my birthday May 22nd so let's hope it's the best birthday present a girl could ask for!

Over and out!

Update of embabies and my assessment!

This morning was a long morning! I went in for my 7:45 appointment and got put in the u/s room right away. Stripped down and lied there for a good 15 fifteen minutes before anyone came ( I thought they forgot about me!). Finally a nurse and a new Doc I have never met came in, he did a quick look inside and said there is a small amount of fluid in my ovaries and a pregnancy could/would make it worse. But in the end it was up to us to make the ultimate decision if we do a fresh transfer because it's not severe. So yes obviously we are doing a fresh transfer but whether it be 2 day 3's or 1 day 5 blast was another decision. 2 day 3's would increase the risk of OHSS and if both stick being pregnant with twins is high risk. The doctor and embryologist both gave a recommendation and we said we would stick with the recommendation because they should know best, we chose to transfer 1 day 5 blast...now let's just hope we have lots that make it there and we have some to freeze also!
I felt I was starting to go stir crazy in the hotel room, so I drove home today to have 2 good sleeps in my own bed and then hubby and I will go back on transfer day.

I need a nap after all that's mind spinning and driving

Fertilization Report #2

Today's report 1 of the 10 embryo's is falling behind but isn't out yet. So still have 9 good ones.
Tomorrow I have an assessment first thing in the a.m. To make sure I don't have any fluid building up for OHSS... Fingers crossed I am good to continue onto the transfer.
Right now I am so torn between transferring 1 day 5 blast or 2 day 3's The embryologist said that if we decide to do a day 5 blast that they would leave the best looking 4 embryo's and freeze the rest on day 3. She also said that only 50% make it to a blast and so that would be two left and they would only transfer 1 blast....the only way they would freeze a day 5 is if there were more than one to freeze. That makes me sad to know that if there is only one embryo left that they won't freeze it and that we are pretty much just letting a possible baby die off....:( It makes me sad to think that.
So right now I am leaning towards putting in 2 day 3's and have the 50% chance of having twins. That way all of the rest are getting froze for the future (if this doesn't work or for future babies).
This will be one of the toughest decisions we make in our life because it could be very life changing.