Well today is my first and last day at home for awhile...tomorrow I am off to Calgary for 2 weeks or so.
Yesterday was my drive to Saskatoon for blood tests, 5am is way to early for me and I was a zombie for the first hour of driving and not really feeling very good but made it after 2 hrs of driving way to fast. Got there 20 minutes early because it's a first come first serve thing and was the third person so once the door was open I got in right away. Did a few errands around the city and then went to my first acupuncture appointment? Acu was neat to say the least...looking forward to my appointments I booked in Calgary. Then I drove home at normal speeds because I was wider awake, scared of police because it was a friday, and I was just going back to work so nothing to really rush home for, lol.
Got the call from the FC that my blood tests were good and my meds are all staying the same...I am pretty sure that's what I wanted to hear! I didn't bother asking for numbers because I didn't really know much of what they meant but I will next week while I am there.
Injections are going ok... I did 3 pokes like nothing (finished off one pen and started another) ... And then the luveris siringe (no more psych outs...yay!). The luveris made me go wonky like one of the HCG trigger shots did... My eyes blurred out, my ears were ringing and I started to get weak and sweat. I felt around the medicine cabinet for the thermometer and plopped on the couch... My temp was 101.0 so I waited it out for 15 minutes and everything was good but my ears, took temp again and it was 100.7. So I took some Tylenol as the IVF nurse said it was ok to take that...finally my temp went down to 99 and I figured that was ok!
All is good now though and hopefully that doesn't happen again tonight.
Better get my ass in gear and finish packing and cleaning the house.
Chow!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Glad to be home!!!
Well that was quite the Monday/Tuesday... what a shit show! My last post was when I got to Calgary and was in my hotel room bed. That night I hardly slept a wink and was up at 6:30 to get ready for the day (one good thing was that I got to check out the hotel where I will be staying for the 2 weeks!). Went to the clinic and got a blood test done at 8am and 10 minutes later went in for the quickest ultrasound in my life. The doctor did an internal said lining looks great, left ovary is excellent and right ovary has a large cyst measured it and done in a matter of 30 seconds! The doctor explained to me we had to wait for the blood tests to check the estrogen to see if it was a drainable cyst or not and I would probably get a phone call around 11am. So went shopping to a nearby mall and waited for the call... sure enough 10:50am get the call "Please be here in 10-15 minutes!". Jumped in the truck and zipped over there and had to wait for 10 minutes and I am nervous at the moment not knowing what was happening. The nurse took me in and I walked all of the way to the back where I had never been before. She told me we will be draining the cyst and I need to strip down to my nothings and put in the robe. She took my blood pressure and went over the procedure with me saying it was just like egg retrieval so it was just a trial run.
Went into the exact room where they do ER and ET (same as the picture they showed us at the IVF info session). Put my legs up in the holders, sanitized, the doc went in with an ultra-sound probe that had a guide beside it she said lining was good, wasn't the left ovary, yup it's the right. She said I will feel a good poke so I took a deep breathe and she said it was done and I didn't feel a thing, I wasn't the u/s screen and watched the cyst get smaller and smaller and then it was gone. She said she was taking the needle out and that hurt more than anything but still not bad at all, she showed me how much fluid she got out and wholly shit it was a fully vial!! So neat. I went back out of the room and had to sit in a chair for a bit and they went over my calendar with me and instructions on when to take meds and what not. Away I went... the after cramping was probably the worst feeling but really wasn't all that bad. You hear people say how ER is so bad and ouchie but it was a piece of cake and I have no fears come the ER now (besides they will be giving me drugs so I definately won't be feeling anything)... guessing the IV will be the worse part!
So all is good now, went home right after the drainage 5.5hrs later made it! Took out my meds right away, took my antibiotics, got my gonal-f pen ready and sat there for a good two minutes pinching my belly fat trying to work up the courage to just poke.... DID IT... click click click as the fluid is going in and done!! Got out the syringe and vials and mix up that needle and I actually thought it was fun.... Poke... and done! One day down and many more to go....
Went into the exact room where they do ER and ET (same as the picture they showed us at the IVF info session). Put my legs up in the holders, sanitized, the doc went in with an ultra-sound probe that had a guide beside it she said lining was good, wasn't the left ovary, yup it's the right. She said I will feel a good poke so I took a deep breathe and she said it was done and I didn't feel a thing, I wasn't the u/s screen and watched the cyst get smaller and smaller and then it was gone. She said she was taking the needle out and that hurt more than anything but still not bad at all, she showed me how much fluid she got out and wholly shit it was a fully vial!! So neat. I went back out of the room and had to sit in a chair for a bit and they went over my calendar with me and instructions on when to take meds and what not. Away I went... the after cramping was probably the worst feeling but really wasn't all that bad. You hear people say how ER is so bad and ouchie but it was a piece of cake and I have no fears come the ER now (besides they will be giving me drugs so I definately won't be feeling anything)... guessing the IV will be the worse part!
So all is good now, went home right after the drainage 5.5hrs later made it! Took out my meds right away, took my antibiotics, got my gonal-f pen ready and sat there for a good two minutes pinching my belly fat trying to work up the courage to just poke.... DID IT... click click click as the fluid is going in and done!! Got out the syringe and vials and mix up that needle and I actually thought it was fun.... Poke... and done! One day down and many more to go....
Monday, April 25, 2011
Stupid Cyst
Well today I had my baseline u/s.... On my drive there I thought I felt a twinge in my right ovary...when normally I get cysts in my left and that is what I feel right now.
On my drive home from the u/s clinic I called the fertility clinic as they should have had my results by then and told them to call my cell phone. I get home 1 hour later and here they called me on my home phone and left a message....CALL MY CELL WHEN I SAY CALL MY CELL! Anyhow..I talked to the lady and she explained I had a large cyst on my right ovary and they need to do a blood test to make sure I am suspressing properly and that the cyst isn't producing estrogen. Also I will be getting another ultra sound so they can look at it themselves. Then will be the procedure for them to burst the cyst...they said it's the same procedure as the egg retrieval but without the iv drugs...eel. Not sure what to think about that!!!!
But I asked if this could still get cancelled and she said no they will take care of it all and I should be starting my injections tomorrow in the pm after all of this.
Then there is a drive home for over 5 hrs! Booooooo....
Wish me luck!
On my drive home from the u/s clinic I called the fertility clinic as they should have had my results by then and told them to call my cell phone. I get home 1 hour later and here they called me on my home phone and left a message....CALL MY CELL WHEN I SAY CALL MY CELL! Anyhow..I talked to the lady and she explained I had a large cyst on my right ovary and they need to do a blood test to make sure I am suspressing properly and that the cyst isn't producing estrogen. Also I will be getting another ultra sound so they can look at it themselves. Then will be the procedure for them to burst the cyst...they said it's the same procedure as the egg retrieval but without the iv drugs...eel. Not sure what to think about that!!!!
But I asked if this could still get cancelled and she said no they will take care of it all and I should be starting my injections tomorrow in the pm after all of this.
Then there is a drive home for over 5 hrs! Booooooo....
Wish me luck!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Easter Weekend...and some family thoughts.
Today I am feeling all crampy and bloated and wanted to lay in bed all morning!! But instead I have been up since 6:30 to sniff my meds that cause me to be pre-menopausal and couldn't go back to sleep after trying for 2 hours!! The sister inlaw called to go for a walk and I almost said no but I am glad I never!! What a beautiful day it is out there (minus the wind), we went for a long and fast paced walk and hit up some of the country side (the smell of cow shit and all). Got home and took off my jacket and had titty sweat and the whole shi-bang... yay for me that I don't have to feel guilty for not doing a work out with Jillian Michael's today.
Yesterday was a long day though even though only an hour of it was only the real annoying part. It was Easter at the Inlaws... excellent people and they know of our circumstances. Hubby's 2 sisters have 7 kids altogether (3 & 4) all under the age of 8 and I watched every one of them grow up from baby to now. This Easter was hard and I really didn't think any of this bothered me but it was all about the kids, the Easter bunny and egg hunt. I was not interested in any of it.... and I said no that's ok I don't want to go outside and freeze my ass off to watch kids scream, cry, run... so a few of us stayed inside and worked on a puzzle, ate some snacks, and chatted. Then after supper it was dishes time, me and the brother inlaws fiance got up to put stuff away even though we don't know our way around the kitchen that well but we managed to get them done EVERY HOLIDAY!!! You know what hubbies sisters do???? FUCK ALL or find something else to make them "look busy", the one said "It's nice to have the Step sisters do all the dishes", so hubby calls them both "Anastasia & Drizella" and us other two Cinderella's (thank hun!!). The one sister who had he first comment didn't like that so pouted and then got up and helped out! The other... sat there there... drank her coffee, played with her kid..... FUCK THAT!! So next Thanksgiving if this happens again I think I might flip out! There is excuses all the time~ or little comments that make me want to strangle them. Like "When you have kids we will do the dishes!"... ok your husbands are quite capable to watch the kids for the short time it takes to do dishes!
Then it was the egg dying... Mother Inlaw always wants to try something new with dying the eggs to see how it turns out so I am always the one who tries it out. I did the eggs all up, put it in the cups I chose and watch it like a hawk because this is the only egg I am doing to make her happy. I turned away for one second and BAMN a kid tries taking it out and crack! Ok kids will be kids and shit happens but me PMSy, no kids, I am starting to feel very annoyed. I say it's ok, stick around and watch and take a few pictures for the moms with them dying eggs with there kids and then I bolt back to the puzzle as soon as I was done taking pictures. I needed my alone time in a quiet spot....
~~~~OK THAT RANT IS OVER!!~~~~ Today is a good day!!
Today is Easter with my family!! Love them all! LOVE LOVE LOVE my sisters kids and I feel much closer with them than the 7 other kids. She has two of the cutest girls ever so I can't wait to see them. One just got her tonsils lasered out and might be down and out and the other little stinker is at the doctor as we speak with puss at the back of her throat, hopefully she gets some meds to get better. At the back of my head I keep thinking, please don't get sick, please don't get sick... that's the last thing that I want right now. But I am tonsil free so if it's tonsilis I am good to go and won't have any worries!!
It might be an awkward day today though... by no means is my family perfect!
That's all a lot I had to say today but if you are reading this post now you know a little more about me, my family, and the struggles that everyone goes through even beyond infertility.
Yesterday was a long day though even though only an hour of it was only the real annoying part. It was Easter at the Inlaws... excellent people and they know of our circumstances. Hubby's 2 sisters have 7 kids altogether (3 & 4) all under the age of 8 and I watched every one of them grow up from baby to now. This Easter was hard and I really didn't think any of this bothered me but it was all about the kids, the Easter bunny and egg hunt. I was not interested in any of it.... and I said no that's ok I don't want to go outside and freeze my ass off to watch kids scream, cry, run... so a few of us stayed inside and worked on a puzzle, ate some snacks, and chatted. Then after supper it was dishes time, me and the brother inlaws fiance got up to put stuff away even though we don't know our way around the kitchen that well but we managed to get them done EVERY HOLIDAY!!! You know what hubbies sisters do???? FUCK ALL or find something else to make them "look busy", the one said "It's nice to have the Step sisters do all the dishes", so hubby calls them both "Anastasia & Drizella" and us other two Cinderella's (thank hun!!). The one sister who had he first comment didn't like that so pouted and then got up and helped out! The other... sat there there... drank her coffee, played with her kid..... FUCK THAT!! So next Thanksgiving if this happens again I think I might flip out! There is excuses all the time~ or little comments that make me want to strangle them. Like "When you have kids we will do the dishes!"... ok your husbands are quite capable to watch the kids for the short time it takes to do dishes!
Then it was the egg dying... Mother Inlaw always wants to try something new with dying the eggs to see how it turns out so I am always the one who tries it out. I did the eggs all up, put it in the cups I chose and watch it like a hawk because this is the only egg I am doing to make her happy. I turned away for one second and BAMN a kid tries taking it out and crack! Ok kids will be kids and shit happens but me PMSy, no kids, I am starting to feel very annoyed. I say it's ok, stick around and watch and take a few pictures for the moms with them dying eggs with there kids and then I bolt back to the puzzle as soon as I was done taking pictures. I needed my alone time in a quiet spot....
~~~~OK THAT RANT IS OVER!!~~~~ Today is a good day!!
Today is Easter with my family!! Love them all! LOVE LOVE LOVE my sisters kids and I feel much closer with them than the 7 other kids. She has two of the cutest girls ever so I can't wait to see them. One just got her tonsils lasered out and might be down and out and the other little stinker is at the doctor as we speak with puss at the back of her throat, hopefully she gets some meds to get better. At the back of my head I keep thinking, please don't get sick, please don't get sick... that's the last thing that I want right now. But I am tonsil free so if it's tonsilis I am good to go and won't have any worries!!
It might be an awkward day today though... by no means is my family perfect!
- I have a brother I have seen or spoken to in over a year (pretty sure he didn't answer the phone so he isn't coming home as always)
- My dad is a walking time bomb in my mind and it makes my eyes water to just type that (he had a stroke and a heart attack) and is on meds and shouldn't be drinking anymore but still does after two scares (or warnings in life as I like to call them). Some people don't get warnings so he should consider himself very lucky and I do just to still have him around! But my mom always says that drinking is his "social" way of life and it would be like life would quit if he didn't... sometimes I think she is just covering for him and maybe he has a drinking problem??? My dad and I are really tight though... he likes to think he was the one who raised me and my mom had nothing to do with it (funny funny). My dad and I are very much alike! We hunt together, we are both tough emtionally, both speak out minds.... I could keep going.
- My mom is the rock in our family and keeps it together. She is amazing and supportive and full of advice.
- My sister who feels like a twin to me! We are 6 years apart but seem like the same person in most ways. She is more like mom in some ways as I am more like my dad. She wouldn't hurt a fly, as I hunt big game. She would someone talk shit about her, and I would say something directly to that person. But other than that... my goodness... we watch the same TV shows, listen to the same music, think EXACLY alike... I say something before she even can. We don't even have to ask eachother for opinions because we know what eachother would say but still do for some re-assurance!
- The brother inlaw (my sisters husband)... he is another story and that is why it might be awkward today!? I am not sure what to think of this all... but he hasn't always been there for my sister and he recently had an "incident" involving drinking and jumping out of a moving vehicle and smashing his face to the pavement (resulting in a broken/bruised face/and ego). I haven't seen him since this has happened and I think he is quite imbarrassed about it (or at least should be)but the upside is he getting help. So I am happy to report he is getting help but I just hope he can follow through with it all... I just hope he will always be there for my sister and her girls from now on because if he can't, it may break there family up :(
That's all a lot I had to say today but if you are reading this post now you know a little more about me, my family, and the struggles that everyone goes through even beyond infertility.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
What a day...
So work was ok but I was very pmsy. My boobs are so sore I can hardly touch them... and people tell me it's going to be 10 times worse when I have babies (I bag to differ). I went from a small B to a good C in my mind! Major spillage out the B cups today! lol
I called the Pharmacy and told them I was ready for my debreifing on the injections and meds and what not.... of course I had to leave a message and they would call back (still mad that they don't answer the phone anywhere to do with fertility... wonder if they have some crazies who call all the time and they just screen those calls, hope that doesn't turn into me). Anyhoo I got a call back and the lady who called me wasn't even able to go over them with me when I clearly stated on the message that's what I wanted to do! So she said the Pharmacist would call me back when she had a moment. Got the call at 2:30 and normally they are only open until 2pm so I was shocked! The lady was amazing and kind and joked... it really made me feel better in the end! She re-assured me that it's fairly hard to screw up and that I will do fine (I don't like hugging but I would have probably hugged her!).
Right after that phone call I felt crampy so when to the bathroom... wiped and here is AF showed up with no warning other than the boobs and PMS! lol. Normally there is some sort of spotting first and then she comes full red but nope! So now I am worrying that she came too soon. As my first u/s is only on CD5 and I would only start my meds then at the earliest!? I dunno... guess I gotta go and see what others did online! I love having internet friends who have gone through the same things to compare to!
I called in my Day 1 as instructed to, so I might be getting a phone call from them.
Thinking back....
When I first got my calendar from the IVF nurse I was leary about the dates because I told her I had such a short cycle 24-26 and that the u/s would have ended up being CD32. She said sniffing would lengthen it but it only did by 2 days so will I be starting stims soon enough? Will embryo transfer be too late in my cycle that they won't have time to bake in the oven? That is all to say if I even get there.... the thought is still in my head that this could get cancelled anytime along the way... and I know that thought needs to stay there because it very well could get cancelled (happens to the best of us). I will plan for the worst and hope for the best through this whole dang journey and try not to get my hopes up too much!
I called the Pharmacy and told them I was ready for my debreifing on the injections and meds and what not.... of course I had to leave a message and they would call back (still mad that they don't answer the phone anywhere to do with fertility... wonder if they have some crazies who call all the time and they just screen those calls, hope that doesn't turn into me). Anyhoo I got a call back and the lady who called me wasn't even able to go over them with me when I clearly stated on the message that's what I wanted to do! So she said the Pharmacist would call me back when she had a moment. Got the call at 2:30 and normally they are only open until 2pm so I was shocked! The lady was amazing and kind and joked... it really made me feel better in the end! She re-assured me that it's fairly hard to screw up and that I will do fine (I don't like hugging but I would have probably hugged her!).
Right after that phone call I felt crampy so when to the bathroom... wiped and here is AF showed up with no warning other than the boobs and PMS! lol. Normally there is some sort of spotting first and then she comes full red but nope! So now I am worrying that she came too soon. As my first u/s is only on CD5 and I would only start my meds then at the earliest!? I dunno... guess I gotta go and see what others did online! I love having internet friends who have gone through the same things to compare to!
I called in my Day 1 as instructed to, so I might be getting a phone call from them.
Thinking back....
When I first got my calendar from the IVF nurse I was leary about the dates because I told her I had such a short cycle 24-26 and that the u/s would have ended up being CD32. She said sniffing would lengthen it but it only did by 2 days so will I be starting stims soon enough? Will embryo transfer be too late in my cycle that they won't have time to bake in the oven? That is all to say if I even get there.... the thought is still in my head that this could get cancelled anytime along the way... and I know that thought needs to stay there because it very well could get cancelled (happens to the best of us). I will plan for the worst and hope for the best through this whole dang journey and try not to get my hopes up too much!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
What to pack?
I have been nervous to pack but I know I better get started sooner than later! I will be staying in Calgary in a hotel room for 2 weeks. And for the first week it's just going to be me, myself, and I. Hubby is going to be super busy at work and can't really leave them hanging at work which I am totally fine with (right now). He has to be there the day before egg retrieval and the day after... so pretty much 3 days.
Here's my list so far... please feel free to post more items you think I should pack!!
Here's my list so far... please feel free to post more items you think I should pack!!
Calgary List
· Ipod and ear buds
· Ipad/charger cord
· Sewing machine and jeans (going to make a jean quilt)
· Vitamins
· Medicine
· Phone charger
· Wireless router incase they only have free wired connections.
- comfy clothes incase I am feeling bloated.
- normal clothes, undies, socks... etc.
It could have been last month...
So my friend who is going to the same clinic as me did an IUI last month with them and it didn't work. She got the call for IVF starting this month. But yet when I did an IUI in February I wasn't allowed to start in March.... does this make sense? None what-so-ever... especially because she was on a higher dose of clomid than I was and I was told I needed to bleeds before even getting offered. She asked the IVF nurse twice and she said no you definately can go ahead! So that's great for her and I am VERY happy that she can move on so fast!! But mad at the same time that I couldn't have been there last month!!
This IVF procedure I am missing one of my long time friends weddings because I will be stuck in Calgary and it's my hubbies busy time at work (bad timing) but we do what we gotta do.
I love being able to compare everything with her because she gets some info I didn't and I got some she didn't. I thought if I had a cyst that I could get cancelled but nope she said they burst it so it would be a few extra days and that's it... so that was wonderful information to hear. Also we compared meds and are taking completely different ones... I have gonalF with luveris and she just has purgeron. I still don't know why I am taking luveris because another lady I got some gonalF from didn't have to take it. This luveris is making me a little scared because I have to make each needle myself! It's a water with powder... so I will have to put the water into the needle, put the water into the power vial, mix it, put it back into the needles and then inject. The gonalF pen... not really scared about.
The sniffing is going just fine and dandy... looking forward to Monday (my ultrasound day). Want to know when I am starting meds and when I have to drive back to the city for blood tests.
This IVF procedure I am missing one of my long time friends weddings because I will be stuck in Calgary and it's my hubbies busy time at work (bad timing) but we do what we gotta do.
I love being able to compare everything with her because she gets some info I didn't and I got some she didn't. I thought if I had a cyst that I could get cancelled but nope she said they burst it so it would be a few extra days and that's it... so that was wonderful information to hear. Also we compared meds and are taking completely different ones... I have gonalF with luveris and she just has purgeron. I still don't know why I am taking luveris because another lady I got some gonalF from didn't have to take it. This luveris is making me a little scared because I have to make each needle myself! It's a water with powder... so I will have to put the water into the needle, put the water into the power vial, mix it, put it back into the needles and then inject. The gonalF pen... not really scared about.
The sniffing is going just fine and dandy... looking forward to Monday (my ultrasound day). Want to know when I am starting meds and when I have to drive back to the city for blood tests.
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