The Results are in....

So I have kept delaying blogging about this because I know some readers also are having problems conceiving and I feel bad typing this out (so quit here if you can't read anymore).
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Sunday morning was test day and my birthday.... so either it was going to be a good one or a bad one. I was up 2-3 times to pee over night because I am still very bloated from the OHSS symptoms and it makes less room for my bladder (in my mind I look 4 months preggers already). Anyhoo 7:30am rolls around and I have been up for awhile already waiting for DH to wake up and low and behold he was waiting for me to wake up. So I asked if it was ok if I went and 'made pee' and off I went. I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door and hubby would say when it was time to go in and we both looked together (I had to tell him while we were waiting that 2 lines is good and 1 is bad). So we go in look at the stick and low and behold ~~~~TWO VERY NICE LOOKING LINES~~~~. So as of right now I am preggers and my estimated due date is January 27th. I haven't booked a doctor appointment yet because I haven't even decided where to go yet!? GP 15 minutes down the road or my most favorite doctor OBGYN 1.5hrs down the road who knows lots more about me. I think tomorrow I will call the OBGYN and see if he even wants me back and if not that will be my decision.... but do I really want to be driving that far for every appointment? I am going to have to drive that far for any u/s anyhow so I dunno!!!!!?
I do know lots could still happen... tubal, m/c... you name it and anything is possible but I am going to enjoy this as long as it lasts!

The rest of the day was really good!!! My sister and her two daughters and my mom all came down for a birthday visit and we went to the greenhouse to flower shop, then they took my out for a yummy lunch. In the afternoon I lounged around and did nothing. And for supper we went down to the lake for a wiener roast with a bunch of hubbies family! So all in all it was a really great birthday!

If you know me please keep this to yourself until I know I am in the clear (12 weeks or maybe even longer...).

2 More Sleeps..

...until test day! I am feeling hopeful in the sense that I think my OHSS symptoms are coming back and they tend to with a pregnancy. And also the fact that I have been waking up in a pool of sweat!! I have been sobbing wet like you could touch my lower back and feel wetness, and normally I am always cold and have the heated blanket on until July!  I don't know if any of this is meaning anything so who knows...
But in the same sense I am feeling like this won't work because the OHSS systems could just be my period on her way (grrr I hope not).
I do know if this does work I am not in the clear by any means and something could still happen so I should try not to get too excited if we get a BFP (big fat positive) but it would be hard to contain myself because I have never ever ever ever had a positive pregnancy test.

The anxiousness has settled in.....uhhhh good times!

Being Patient...

You would think I would be patient by now, after going through this for almost 2.5 years...but NOPE! It seems like everything with infertility is a wait: a wait to get in to see a doctor, a wait for certain day blood tests, ovulation, temperature rises, more doctor waits, waiting for your period, waiting until you were at least close to pee on a stick....ok I could keep going!!!
I am so very impatient and if this worked I can't wait to be excited and if this didn't work I can't wait to move on and get on the list for our frozen blast transfer or to know if I should start to look into adoption or what....

I have been keeping busy so I thought that would help but NOPE. So while baking buns I thought...maybe I am baking a bun in my oven. Lol Or while at a Dinner Theater I see a baby and thought how lucky they were to have that baby so easily....I know people take getting pregnant so quickly for granted. My sister inlaw has 4 kids and she doesn't even know where the sperm meets egg....it took us long to get pregnant with child #3, oh really how long? 3 months! Grrr....
Positive thoughts...have positive outcomes?! I have always hoped so but have gotten hurt in the end so plan for the worst and hope for the best?! I dunno that one doesnt seem right either...so right now I am going to just be hopeful and if this doesn't work then I will deal with that when the time comes!

As far as I know this is the closest I have been to being pregnant so I am trying to take at least this much in!!!

Chow for now!

Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

Well yesterday was our transfer day of our beautiful blastocyst! We got to see a picture of it before the transfer, and also got to watch the little bubble go into my uterus.

They were able to freeze another beautiful blast yesterday and the other 8 were still in the running! Sadly they called today and said we had no more to freeze so I was instantly sad. But this is going to work!!! Right?

And maybe for other future babies my body will just know what to do and get pregnant on our own...at least having 1 on ice will take a little pressure off!!!

And the wait begins..
Test day is my birthday May 22nd so let's hope it's the best birthday present a girl could ask for!

Over and out!

Update of embabies and my assessment!

This morning was a long morning! I went in for my 7:45 appointment and got put in the u/s room right away. Stripped down and lied there for a good 15 fifteen minutes before anyone came ( I thought they forgot about me!). Finally a nurse and a new Doc I have never met came in, he did a quick look inside and said there is a small amount of fluid in my ovaries and a pregnancy could/would make it worse. But in the end it was up to us to make the ultimate decision if we do a fresh transfer because it's not severe. So yes obviously we are doing a fresh transfer but whether it be 2 day 3's or 1 day 5 blast was another decision. 2 day 3's would increase the risk of OHSS and if both stick being pregnant with twins is high risk. The doctor and embryologist both gave a recommendation and we said we would stick with the recommendation because they should know best, we chose to transfer 1 day 5 blast...now let's just hope we have lots that make it there and we have some to freeze also!
I felt I was starting to go stir crazy in the hotel room, so I drove home today to have 2 good sleeps in my own bed and then hubby and I will go back on transfer day.

I need a nap after all that's mind spinning and driving

Fertilization Report #2

Today's report 1 of the 10 embryo's is falling behind but isn't out yet. So still have 9 good ones.
Tomorrow I have an assessment first thing in the a.m. To make sure I don't have any fluid building up for OHSS... Fingers crossed I am good to continue onto the transfer.
Right now I am so torn between transferring 1 day 5 blast or 2 day 3's The embryologist said that if we decide to do a day 5 blast that they would leave the best looking 4 embryo's and freeze the rest on day 3. She also said that only 50% make it to a blast and so that would be two left and they would only transfer 1 blast....the only way they would freeze a day 5 is if there were more than one to freeze. That makes me sad to know that if there is only one embryo left that they won't freeze it and that we are pretty much just letting a possible baby die off....:( It makes me sad to think that.
So right now I am leaning towards putting in 2 day 3's and have the 50% chance of having twins. That way all of the rest are getting froze for the future (if this doesn't work or for future babies).
This will be one of the toughest decisions we make in our life because it could be very life changing.

Fertilization Report

Last night hubby and I hardly slept!!! We were very nervous/excited to get the call from the embryologist to let us know how and if they fertilized. She called early like she said she would... Before 8am. Of the 13 mature eggs 10 fertilized and they were quite happy with that and so were we! Tomorrow she will call with the quality and another report on how they are doing and we might know better if we are doing a day 3 or day 5 transfer or if I get symptoms of OHSS too bad we might just have to freeze and do a frozen embryo transfer instead but i really hope not!!!
Today I had to start progesterone suppositories up my woo woo and estrogen pills twice a day...fun times!

Egg Retrieval Day!

Well today was the big day (well one of them anyhow!). The IV that I was so scared about was nothing at all, one try and done. I wasn't eally scared about the ER as I thought that the cyst drainage was a breeze without drugs...but I was wrong. I felt the drugs at first before the doc even got in there but they seemed to taper off quite quickly, I felt really good pinches and ugly pressures that pinched, then one ovary was done and onto th next. I even had a tear rolling down my cheek but he said he was almost done so I was looking forward to that. As soon as it was all over and done with I felt like I could have walked out of there but I had to stay in covert for an hour. The embryologist came over and told us many they retrieved and she said 19 were retrieved and 13 were mature, 3 were immature and the other 3 were inconclusive. Honestly I thought there would have been more from the OHSS risk and from the counts at the u/s's.
Glad that is off the list!!! Just waiting for the fertilization report!

No more needles!

Last night I did my last needles at midnight and it is so nice to think that I don't have to do any drugs today except for the Dostinex before I go to bed tonight taken orally.

Oh wait I forgot that they gave me a single pill of Valium to take tonight to sleep if I wanted...I don't have problems sleeping so I won't take it but I thought I would just keep it for the hell of it! Who knows this might not work and I might need a good nights sleep after that...lol. Good times!

Had to come back and update! So after I hit publish post, the ad on the side was "drug rehab", WAY to funny and had to come back and share!

Trigger Shot Night...

Tonight is the night! I got the call to come back into the clinic to get the trigger shot and info for the egg retrieval!
The plan is... Continue sniffing today and then I am all done that, take the HCG shots in two different spots tonight at midnight, and then take a Dostinex (cabergoline). The Dostinex is to help with the prevention and treatment of OHSS and I take it for 8 days straight. Hopefully this helps and I can get the embryo transfer done next week (providing we have fertilized embryo's), the side effects are dizziness and light-headedness so that's why I take it at night and if I get up in the middle of the night am supposed to get up very slowly so I don't faint.
I am quite excited that tonight is my last night of injections!!!! Woohoo! And even more excited to see my husband who will be coming here tomorrow night!
ER is Saturday and our first fertilization report is Sunday morning sometime... I am most anxious/excited and nervous about that!

Over and Out!

A poke and a prod ...

This morning was another poke (blood test) and another prod (internal u/s)... fun times!
Every time here I have had a new doctor and all of them are excellent! Today was Dr. Scott a lady, yesterday was Dr. Green and he was hilarious! Dr. Scott let me know I am still at risk of OHSS but we won't know until we get there, tonight might be trigger night but that soley depends on my blood test results to see where my estrogen levels are...all I know it was above 10,000.
I have met a great lady in the waiting room here, it's so nice to talk to someone at the same track as me and might even have the same ER day as me. We joked they might mix up our babies but once they came out clearly we would know they aren't ours (she has darker skin and I am very white).
Then I went in to see the counsellor as they make us see her once while undergoing IVF, she is super nice and easy to talk to! I told her I am shocked that these drugs haven't turned me into a crazy person, I pre-warned my husband I am sorry in advance and that it was a good thing he wasn't around while I was doing injections, BUT all is good.

Waiting for the phone call...

Today's u/s and blood work...

Today the clinic wasn't as busy (woohoo)!
My right arm is starting to look very bruised and sore to touch but that is something I am willing to deal with for a baby, along with the injections, daily visits to the clinic, etc...
They counted the follies and there was 11 on one side and 12 on the other side, they then talked to me about being at risk of OHSS and told I would get a call back on dosage after my blood work results are done. They lowered my dosage to 75 gonalf and 75 luveris and I am thinking this might be the last injections but who knows.
I go back tomorrow for another u/s and blood work, which I am happy about because I would rather be closely monitored while I am here rather than bunking in a hotel and missing something!

So back to the clinic I go tomorrow! I am shopped out so tomorrow I will sleep, relax and do some sewing!

First Ultrasound after Stimming...

So as I sit here in the packed clinic and wait I thought I would start this off....
Monday morning and people are just filing in here and packing the place like sardines.... Out of the whole clinc there was 2 people who brought there kids! Ok if they are going to be quiet and sit there good I wouldn't mind as much but one lady brought her 3 year old and let her speak very loudly, tried to butt in front of other people because her kid was getting impatient (sorry lady you should have gotten a babysitter and they just told her first come first serve) Thank goodness...although it would be nice to get them out of here :)

I finally went in for my third blood test of this cycle and my viens are still doing good..thank goodness because there could be lots to go yet!

Ultra-sound is done and the first thing the doctor said was "WOW you got a lot going on down here!" He measured and counted and I have 11 on the right side where they drained the cyst last Tuesday and 9 on the left side all measuring around the same 1.2 ish. So I go back on Wednesday for another u/s and blood test and should know betteer when the ER date is!