September 12 we did out 20 week ultra-sound and I sure loved seeing babe again! I was hoping D would have changed his mind about finding out the sex of the baby but he said no and I told him I would respect that... even though I tried figuring it out the whole time on the u/s monitor.
The u/s tech went through and told us everything he was looking at so it was so nice to hear that all was well when he was going through it. He showed us the heart and the 4 valves, told us he looked for a Cleffed (sp) lip, all sorts of stuff I didn't know they could see in such detail already but all was good! Baby cooperated much better than the 12 week u/s (he/she squirmed the whole time), I asked if the u/s tech knew what we were having and sure enough he did (dang I didn't see the goods).
We purchased the CD of all the screen shots and printed off some pictures, one is on the fridge already :)
GROW BABY GROW!!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, September 09, 2011
Another Jean quilt...
Last Sunday we went to the farm for lunch and took grandma out there with us. She brought her serger sewing machine out and was going to show me how to use it so I brought my jean pieces that I cut while I was doing IVF in Calgary bored out of my mind.
Well you should see Grandma giver on that thing!! She just had me keep on handing her peices of fabric and away she went. Two hours later the quilt was put together and looked great!! Thanks Grandma R!
I haven't decided if I want to put backing in this one or not. I made one last winter and I put a thin filler and then a flannel backing... WOW is that thing heavy and warm. So I think I might just use this one as a beach blanket and it will shake off really well. Hmmmmm... decisions.
Well you should see Grandma giver on that thing!! She just had me keep on handing her peices of fabric and away she went. Two hours later the quilt was put together and looked great!! Thanks Grandma R!
I haven't decided if I want to put backing in this one or not. I made one last winter and I put a thin filler and then a flannel backing... WOW is that thing heavy and warm. So I think I might just use this one as a beach blanket and it will shake off really well. Hmmmmm... decisions.
Playing Catch up...
As of today I am 20 weeks!! WOOHOO half way there!
I started feeling baby around 16-17 weeks and the hubby actually felt it at 18 weeks (this baby sure is a kicker). I only realized at the Doctors office while he was checking the heart beat with the doppler that was what the baby felt like when it moved. He had the heart beat and then baby swam away and you could here that on the doppler, then he found the heart beat again and baby swam away and the whole time I felt this fluttering that I just thought were air bubbles what was the baby the whole time (so no wonder 2nd, 3rd time moms feel there babies kick sooner because they know what to look for!! DUH! lol Then one saturday morning while we were babysitting D's nephews this baby was kicking REALLY hard for how little the little dude or dudette is so I told him to just put his hand on my stomach and sure enough....he felt it twice. I think that made him feel better about how he knows baby is doing good.
On Monday (Sept. 12th) we have our 20 week ultra sound so I am looking forward to seeing what this babe is starting to look like now. I told him and he has known all along that I have wanted to find out what we are having but he was always super against it and then I think I sort of had him thinking 'maybe we would find out' but someone at his work talked him out of it and he definately does NOT want to find out because "it will be the only really surprise in our lifetime", but I thought it would be a surprise at the ultra sound..."Surprise you are having a ...blank". Oh well I said he could decide and that he did. I still think it's a girl as the heart rate has been higher at every appointment although it seems the babe has been moving everytime at the doc or even the 12 week u/s so that isn't the resting heart rate that you can base that on... A SURPRISE IT WILL BE!!
Last week D took me to Edmonton to go shopping last minute because we had no other plans because it rained out and so his family wasn't combining and didn't need his help. We went for supper with some friends, to the Casino for a bit and to bed. Got up much too early the next morning because the mall didn't even open until 10am on a Saturday...booo. Anyhoo we sat around then got at'er... I needed to get some new bras, I checked out some baby clothing but refrained because I already have a closet full of "baby gifts". I was/am also trying to refrain from buying too much 'just incase something happens' but if something is going to happen it can happen at any given time so I don't really want to hold back but the 20 week ultra sound is my date I had in mind. But "My stroller" was on sale... so guess what!? I bought it... no restraint there but it's all good because it was on sale! (laughing at myself!) So I set it up last night and borrowed two neices down the street and man does it roller nice! It's a Baby Jo.gger Cit.y Sel.ect. LOVE!
Last night I went to get into the shower and dropped my bra on the floor and D looks at it and it like "Is your boob leaking already!?", I jumped back and said "Nah maybe it's just sweat!" but I said I would wear another bra today and see if I noticed anything. Sure enough my left boob is leaking already! I had to call my sister and ask if it was a little early for this, she thinks I am going to be a good milker but I guess time will tell. Gotta go and get some breast pads now :( .
Sorry this post was all over but I just wanted to update a few things so preggo brain doesn't get in the way of any of this! :)
Chow for now!
I started feeling baby around 16-17 weeks and the hubby actually felt it at 18 weeks (this baby sure is a kicker). I only realized at the Doctors office while he was checking the heart beat with the doppler that was what the baby felt like when it moved. He had the heart beat and then baby swam away and you could here that on the doppler, then he found the heart beat again and baby swam away and the whole time I felt this fluttering that I just thought were air bubbles what was the baby the whole time (so no wonder 2nd, 3rd time moms feel there babies kick sooner because they know what to look for!! DUH! lol Then one saturday morning while we were babysitting D's nephews this baby was kicking REALLY hard for how little the little dude or dudette is so I told him to just put his hand on my stomach and sure enough....he felt it twice. I think that made him feel better about how he knows baby is doing good.
On Monday (Sept. 12th) we have our 20 week ultra sound so I am looking forward to seeing what this babe is starting to look like now. I told him and he has known all along that I have wanted to find out what we are having but he was always super against it and then I think I sort of had him thinking 'maybe we would find out' but someone at his work talked him out of it and he definately does NOT want to find out because "it will be the only really surprise in our lifetime", but I thought it would be a surprise at the ultra sound..."Surprise you are having a ...blank". Oh well I said he could decide and that he did. I still think it's a girl as the heart rate has been higher at every appointment although it seems the babe has been moving everytime at the doc or even the 12 week u/s so that isn't the resting heart rate that you can base that on... A SURPRISE IT WILL BE!!
Last week D took me to Edmonton to go shopping last minute because we had no other plans because it rained out and so his family wasn't combining and didn't need his help. We went for supper with some friends, to the Casino for a bit and to bed. Got up much too early the next morning because the mall didn't even open until 10am on a Saturday...booo. Anyhoo we sat around then got at'er... I needed to get some new bras, I checked out some baby clothing but refrained because I already have a closet full of "baby gifts". I was/am also trying to refrain from buying too much 'just incase something happens' but if something is going to happen it can happen at any given time so I don't really want to hold back but the 20 week ultra sound is my date I had in mind. But "My stroller" was on sale... so guess what!? I bought it... no restraint there but it's all good because it was on sale! (laughing at myself!) So I set it up last night and borrowed two neices down the street and man does it roller nice! It's a Baby Jo.gger Cit.y Sel.ect. LOVE!
Last night I went to get into the shower and dropped my bra on the floor and D looks at it and it like "Is your boob leaking already!?", I jumped back and said "Nah maybe it's just sweat!" but I said I would wear another bra today and see if I noticed anything. Sure enough my left boob is leaking already! I had to call my sister and ask if it was a little early for this, she thinks I am going to be a good milker but I guess time will tell. Gotta go and get some breast pads now :( .
Sorry this post was all over but I just wanted to update a few things so preggo brain doesn't get in the way of any of this! :)
Chow for now!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
What a weekend!
We had quite the weekend!! Started off that there were zero campsites left at the lake and there is usually at least non-electrical but there wasn't. So we didn't end up taking our camper and bumper with my folks in there camper. We had beautiful weather on Saturday and Sunday (my folks left on Sunday so it was just hubby and I left)!! Monday they were calling for thunderstorms so we went fishing first thing but the clouds came up from no where so we went and took the boat out right away (9:30am), we tarped the boat up, parked the campsite and put the stove under the awning and the thunder was roaring and rain started to trickle. That let up and we were back outside just hanging out and cooking lunch. 2:30pm another thunder storm rolls in, this time a little worse and then they post "tornado warnings". So we packed up all the chairs, put the awning in, we were ready for a good wind....nothing came. It was beautiful out so we went and hauled fire wood, made a fire, cooked supper, sat around the fire for quite awhile, had the awning out again to let it dry. Went to bed around 10pm and it was still really nice out. Sleeping already... the wind picked up at 11pm and I put the awning in. Sleeping again... 11:40 pm we got a loud knock on the door saying there is a tornado coming across the lake. We panicked...I grabbed the camera and hubby grabbed a cell phone and we jumped in the truck and started driving... not sure where or what our plan was...Finally we came to our senses and we went to the cement shower house (no one there), just running 20 feet into the shower house we were completely soaked head to toe as the sky was literally falling!! Called my folks at home and asked them to check the radar online they said there was a nasty system coming through there but it should end soon...we heard voices and figured there was people in the ladies shower house so ran over there. It was a lady and 4 teenagers (they were there for swimming lessons). We were wondering why there was no one else in the shower houses for cover but she said most people left the campsites and went to cabins of friends because they were all locals just camping down there for the swimming lessons. So we hung out there for 1 hour and my folks called and said the severe system had moved through. We went back to the camper and hardly slept a wink from the sheer fear of another tornado brewing... finally when the sun started to shine we fell asleep.
Then it was time to get up and get ready to head to the city for some shopping and my u/s.
I had no desire to eat but thought I should so I had some grapes... we were an hour down the road and nausousness kicked in... gotta started and puke on the side of the road (the joys). Then I was good to go again and enjoyed the scenes of a whole new country scene I had never saw before.
Did some Costco shopping, shopping at the mall a bit, went for our amazing u/s and then shopping again and hit the road home. I was just started to fall asleep and hubby woke me and he was too tired to drive so we switched and then I was WIDE awake thank goodness and drove for most of the way home.
It was so nice to unpack and be home for the sake of being home/safe & sound!!
Then it was time to get up and get ready to head to the city for some shopping and my u/s.
I had no desire to eat but thought I should so I had some grapes... we were an hour down the road and nausousness kicked in... gotta started and puke on the side of the road (the joys). Then I was good to go again and enjoyed the scenes of a whole new country scene I had never saw before.
Did some Costco shopping, shopping at the mall a bit, went for our amazing u/s and then shopping again and hit the road home. I was just started to fall asleep and hubby woke me and he was too tired to drive so we switched and then I was WIDE awake thank goodness and drove for most of the way home.
It was so nice to unpack and be home for the sake of being home/safe & sound!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Finding out!?
So I really think I want to find out what this little bean (it's a lime as of right now) is going to be before it comes out. I have had enough surprises with infertility that I just want the sense of being prepared for a girl or boy and have less of the neutral colors.
Before all of this my husband was completely against finding out but now he doesn't really know what to think... so it has to be both of us finding out or neither.
Right now there is soooo many pregnant people due from November-February and probably more to annouce that I am nervous that my names will get chosen. So if we do find out is it already if we name the unborn baby and let it be known to everyone??? Or is that completely dumb and wrong??? I have never felt I need to be traditional in any of those ways so I am leaning towards it being ok!! Do I care what everyone else thinks?? Well I sort of do but I can justify it!
All opinions are welcome! Don't be afraid to comment!
Before all of this my husband was completely against finding out but now he doesn't really know what to think... so it has to be both of us finding out or neither.
Right now there is soooo many pregnant people due from November-February and probably more to annouce that I am nervous that my names will get chosen. So if we do find out is it already if we name the unborn baby and let it be known to everyone??? Or is that completely dumb and wrong??? I have never felt I need to be traditional in any of those ways so I am leaning towards it being ok!! Do I care what everyone else thinks?? Well I sort of do but I can justify it!
All opinions are welcome! Don't be afraid to comment!
It's been awhile...
Sorry for the lack of posts!! I have been trying to keep busy and that I have been doing....
We did a 5 day camping trip over the long weekend (July 1st) with D's family and what a gorgeous weekend it was! I finally got some color, ate great food, slept fairly good and didn't get sick once!!! Woohoo. Got home on the Monday after telling my mom how good I was feeling and I jinxed myself and was barfing again!! So I have come to learn that to the few people who know and ask how I am feeling "Don't say good".
Yesterday (July 14th) was a rough day but I dealt with it. My husband got a random text message from an unknown person asking "Is it true that you are expecting?", he replied back with "who is this and where did you hear that from?". Then we figured out it was one of his hockey player friends and his wife heard it from another chick (her- see below).
This is the exact thing that went down on BBM:
We have had issues with this couple before talking about us and I completely avoid them at all costs but it's tough during hockey season at the hockey games. She has a child already and the poor little girl gets no attention from her parents. The last thing was they took her to a wedding and showed her off for the first 30 minutes and after that they didn't have a clue where she was. Finally a few hours later someone find her sleeping on two chairs pulled together and lets the parents know (WTF!!?). They are now have problems having a second child... and from someone who has gone through infertility I am seriously not feeling bad for them. I feel like they should charish the child they have now first and then maybe they could conceive. They had an IUI done and she thought for sure the first time was going to work because she was pregnant before!! WTF are you an idiot? Do you not read about any of this?
She thought because we did IVF that putting two and two together that I am automatically pregnant!? GOD ARE YOU DUMB! And then there is people who go and read stacks of books, millions of internet sites about there infertility issues and might even know more than the doctors who still can't get pregnant... SO SAD!!
Ok I am done the rant! And I totally feel better! My hubby normally doesn't like when I spout off like that but he had no problem whatsoever with my Bbm conversation with her, YAY! Then we went for a long bike ride together and I felt 100% again.
We did a 5 day camping trip over the long weekend (July 1st) with D's family and what a gorgeous weekend it was! I finally got some color, ate great food, slept fairly good and didn't get sick once!!! Woohoo. Got home on the Monday after telling my mom how good I was feeling and I jinxed myself and was barfing again!! So I have come to learn that to the few people who know and ask how I am feeling "Don't say good".
Yesterday (July 14th) was a rough day but I dealt with it. My husband got a random text message from an unknown person asking "Is it true that you are expecting?", he replied back with "who is this and where did you hear that from?". Then we figured out it was one of his hockey player friends and his wife heard it from another chick (her- see below).
This is the exact thing that went down on BBM:
Messages:
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Me: Are u telling people don and I are expecting when that might not even be true?
Me: I am not trying to be rude but if we were don't you think we would tell when we were ready and if we aren't that would be pretty sad to hear being how long we have wanted a baby.
Her: I'm not tell people that u are pregnant but u have to realize that people talk and that people do know that u went for IVF so they put two and two together. I truly am sorry that if someone told u that I out right said that u were pregnant that's not the case cause I don't know for sure.
Me: So does everyone think we did ivf because that's what you and zinger thought and just told people? We haven't been open about how far we are willing to try for a baby so for people to KNOW we did ivf wouldn't be correct. It would just be an assumption. I have my guard up right now about all of this so I am sorry for being this way but I just want to get everything straight.
Her: Well we heard u got IVF from someone else. We didn't make that up our selves.
Me: Ok I believe that but it doesn't make it true. I wish ivf was 100% so everyone can have babies, I wish we could be pregnant and announce without people thinking that, I wish no one had to deal with the pain of infertility, I wish you guys weren't dealing with this shit, I wish people didn't lose babies, gossip.....ok I could keep going but the fact is that people gossip hurts. And the fact that don got a random text asking if it was true if we were pregnant because you told there wife hurts. I hope one day we both have the oppurtunity to announce without anyone speculating on how it worked and to just be happy for us. I am done my rant... it might be pregnancy hormones or pms or just bitchy me. Sorry you got the brunt of it but most of what I have been hearing is coming from you guys so I just wanted to address the situation and forget about it. So I wish you guys the best in your journey of trying for number two and in the mean time enjoy the little miracle you have already because any child is a true miracle.
***********************************We have had issues with this couple before talking about us and I completely avoid them at all costs but it's tough during hockey season at the hockey games. She has a child already and the poor little girl gets no attention from her parents. The last thing was they took her to a wedding and showed her off for the first 30 minutes and after that they didn't have a clue where she was. Finally a few hours later someone find her sleeping on two chairs pulled together and lets the parents know (WTF!!?). They are now have problems having a second child... and from someone who has gone through infertility I am seriously not feeling bad for them. I feel like they should charish the child they have now first and then maybe they could conceive. They had an IUI done and she thought for sure the first time was going to work because she was pregnant before!! WTF are you an idiot? Do you not read about any of this?
She thought because we did IVF that putting two and two together that I am automatically pregnant!? GOD ARE YOU DUMB! And then there is people who go and read stacks of books, millions of internet sites about there infertility issues and might even know more than the doctors who still can't get pregnant... SO SAD!!
Ok I am done the rant! And I totally feel better! My hubby normally doesn't like when I spout off like that but he had no problem whatsoever with my Bbm conversation with her, YAY! Then we went for a long bike ride together and I felt 100% again.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Getting Sick...
Well it has officially started.... I am getting the day sickness. I thought for sure I was going to make it to 8 weeks and be in the clear but nope!!
All of the way up until now I have felt uneasy so I just knew I had to keep eating small portions more spread out the day. And that I could deal with.
TMI ahead..... As of last night after eating a very unhealthy meal... I almost didn't make it home and into the bathroom fast enough. Supper went down the toilet and I felt perfectly fine afterwards so I was ok with that! But 1 hr later I felt like absolute poo and just layed on the couch for the rest of the night until I drug my ass to bed.
This morning I dry heaved the whole time I was getting ready... I gagged put my pills up my woo-woo, I almost had something come up while brushing my teeth, my concealer didn't look right so I gagged over that. All morning I have felt like absolute shit but forced myself to eat here and there... right before lunch I took a poop and the smell almost made me turn around and puke... instead I just sat there and gagged, wiped, flushed, washed and was outta there so fast!!! YUCK I hope this doesn't get any worse, I feel sorry for those who have it for there entire pregnacy!
Even though I am complaining I absolutely would take this over no baby any day!!
All of the way up until now I have felt uneasy so I just knew I had to keep eating small portions more spread out the day. And that I could deal with.
TMI ahead..... As of last night after eating a very unhealthy meal... I almost didn't make it home and into the bathroom fast enough. Supper went down the toilet and I felt perfectly fine afterwards so I was ok with that! But 1 hr later I felt like absolute poo and just layed on the couch for the rest of the night until I drug my ass to bed.
This morning I dry heaved the whole time I was getting ready... I gagged put my pills up my woo-woo, I almost had something come up while brushing my teeth, my concealer didn't look right so I gagged over that. All morning I have felt like absolute shit but forced myself to eat here and there... right before lunch I took a poop and the smell almost made me turn around and puke... instead I just sat there and gagged, wiped, flushed, washed and was outta there so fast!!! YUCK I hope this doesn't get any worse, I feel sorry for those who have it for there entire pregnacy!
Even though I am complaining I absolutely would take this over no baby any day!!
Monday, June 13, 2011
7 Week u/s
2 days before the ultra-sound I started to spot brown and had some slight discomfort down there so I thought for sure this was the end of it all.
Well Friday was the big day... I was nervous as hell!! I told the doctor before we went in that I was spotting and he was nervous for me too. We didn't talk much and just wanted to get straight to it and figure out if there was a healthy baby in there. He got in there and went straight to the uterus to find that baby... he smiled and pointed to me with his mouse pointer (I had my own screen to look at) and said this is your little been and it's healthy! I was so in shock with so much relief... a 500 pounds man was lifted off my shoulders! I saw the little flicker of the heart beat at 174bpm. He then looked at my ovaries and they are the pain I have been having... full of cysts from the IVF (which is normal especially when at risk for OHSS). So he said I definately had OHSS just on the lower end of the scale though.
I think that's about all I learnt... oh wait... he did say "This should be your last internal u/s ever!!" WOOHOO! I got so used to the damn things that it didn't really dawn on me but now that he said that "What a milestone". What a dumb thing to be excited for but little things excite me!! :)
I went for bloodwork and if all is good I don't need to see anyone until my 12 week nuchal u/s.
Well Friday was the big day... I was nervous as hell!! I told the doctor before we went in that I was spotting and he was nervous for me too. We didn't talk much and just wanted to get straight to it and figure out if there was a healthy baby in there. He got in there and went straight to the uterus to find that baby... he smiled and pointed to me with his mouse pointer (I had my own screen to look at) and said this is your little been and it's healthy! I was so in shock with so much relief... a 500 pounds man was lifted off my shoulders! I saw the little flicker of the heart beat at 174bpm. He then looked at my ovaries and they are the pain I have been having... full of cysts from the IVF (which is normal especially when at risk for OHSS). So he said I definately had OHSS just on the lower end of the scale though.
I think that's about all I learnt... oh wait... he did say "This should be your last internal u/s ever!!" WOOHOO! I got so used to the damn things that it didn't really dawn on me but now that he said that "What a milestone". What a dumb thing to be excited for but little things excite me!! :)
I went for bloodwork and if all is good I don't need to see anyone until my 12 week nuchal u/s.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Time is Slowly Moving!!
Well I haven't posted in awhile because I haven't had much to say!!
I have still been having problems with bloat and have kept a light jacket on or something baggy over my belly because it totally looks like I have quite the ponch going on.... hoping it will go away and then come back when it actually is baby!
I am on the countdown for my u/s / OBGYN app... 10 days and counting. I think once I see the heart-beat I will feel much better!
As for symptoms... I don't know if I am making them up because I know they are possible or if they really are symptoms. Other than the obvious bloat, I think my boobs are growing and are randomly sore (thank goodness because I have small little boobies and have always wanted some..lol), and watching my work cat sleep on the printer is making me VERY tired so I am not sure if that's normal Wednesday symptom or preggo.
I think after my June 10th app if all goes well I will be switching my blog to more focus Hopeful4 a healthy baby... so if you are a fellow IF follower and feel like you can't follow... I totally don't blame you!!
I have still been having problems with bloat and have kept a light jacket on or something baggy over my belly because it totally looks like I have quite the ponch going on.... hoping it will go away and then come back when it actually is baby!
I am on the countdown for my u/s / OBGYN app... 10 days and counting. I think once I see the heart-beat I will feel much better!
As for symptoms... I don't know if I am making them up because I know they are possible or if they really are symptoms. Other than the obvious bloat, I think my boobs are growing and are randomly sore (thank goodness because I have small little boobies and have always wanted some..lol), and watching my work cat sleep on the printer is making me VERY tired so I am not sure if that's normal Wednesday symptom or preggo.
I think after my June 10th app if all goes well I will be switching my blog to more focus Hopeful4 a healthy baby... so if you are a fellow IF follower and feel like you can't follow... I totally don't blame you!!
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Results are in....
So I have kept delaying blogging about this because I know some readers also are having problems conceiving and I feel bad typing this out (so quit here if you can't read anymore).
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Sunday morning was test day and my birthday.... so either it was going to be a good one or a bad one. I was up 2-3 times to pee over night because I am still very bloated from the OHSS symptoms and it makes less room for my bladder (in my mind I look 4 months preggers already). Anyhoo 7:30am rolls around and I have been up for awhile already waiting for DH to wake up and low and behold he was waiting for me to wake up. So I asked if it was ok if I went and 'made pee' and off I went. I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door and hubby would say when it was time to go in and we both looked together (I had to tell him while we were waiting that 2 lines is good and 1 is bad). So we go in look at the stick and low and behold ~~~~TWO VERY NICE LOOKING LINES~~~~. So as of right now I am preggers and my estimated due date is January 27th. I haven't booked a doctor appointment yet because I haven't even decided where to go yet!? GP 15 minutes down the road or my most favorite doctor OBGYN 1.5hrs down the road who knows lots more about me. I think tomorrow I will call the OBGYN and see if he even wants me back and if not that will be my decision.... but do I really want to be driving that far for every appointment? I am going to have to drive that far for any u/s anyhow so I dunno!!!!!?
I do know lots could still happen... tubal, m/c... you name it and anything is possible but I am going to enjoy this as long as it lasts!
The rest of the day was really good!!! My sister and her two daughters and my mom all came down for a birthday visit and we went to the greenhouse to flower shop, then they took my out for a yummy lunch. In the afternoon I lounged around and did nothing. And for supper we went down to the lake for a wiener roast with a bunch of hubbies family! So all in all it was a really great birthday!
If you know me please keep this to yourself until I know I am in the clear (12 weeks or maybe even longer...).
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Sunday morning was test day and my birthday.... so either it was going to be a good one or a bad one. I was up 2-3 times to pee over night because I am still very bloated from the OHSS symptoms and it makes less room for my bladder (in my mind I look 4 months preggers already). Anyhoo 7:30am rolls around and I have been up for awhile already waiting for DH to wake up and low and behold he was waiting for me to wake up. So I asked if it was ok if I went and 'made pee' and off I went. I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door and hubby would say when it was time to go in and we both looked together (I had to tell him while we were waiting that 2 lines is good and 1 is bad). So we go in look at the stick and low and behold ~~~~TWO VERY NICE LOOKING LINES~~~~. So as of right now I am preggers and my estimated due date is January 27th. I haven't booked a doctor appointment yet because I haven't even decided where to go yet!? GP 15 minutes down the road or my most favorite doctor OBGYN 1.5hrs down the road who knows lots more about me. I think tomorrow I will call the OBGYN and see if he even wants me back and if not that will be my decision.... but do I really want to be driving that far for every appointment? I am going to have to drive that far for any u/s anyhow so I dunno!!!!!?
I do know lots could still happen... tubal, m/c... you name it and anything is possible but I am going to enjoy this as long as it lasts!
The rest of the day was really good!!! My sister and her two daughters and my mom all came down for a birthday visit and we went to the greenhouse to flower shop, then they took my out for a yummy lunch. In the afternoon I lounged around and did nothing. And for supper we went down to the lake for a wiener roast with a bunch of hubbies family! So all in all it was a really great birthday!
If you know me please keep this to yourself until I know I am in the clear (12 weeks or maybe even longer...).
Friday, May 20, 2011
2 More Sleeps..
...until test day! I am feeling hopeful in the sense that I think my OHSS symptoms are coming back and they tend to with a pregnancy. And also the fact that I have been waking up in a pool of sweat!! I have been sobbing wet like you could touch my lower back and feel wetness, and normally I am always cold and have the heated blanket on until July! I don't know if any of this is meaning anything so who knows...
But in the same sense I am feeling like this won't work because the OHSS systems could just be my period on her way (grrr I hope not).
I do know if this does work I am not in the clear by any means and something could still happen so I should try not to get too excited if we get a BFP (big fat positive) but it would be hard to contain myself because I have never ever ever ever had a positive pregnancy test.
The anxiousness has settled in.....uhhhh good times!
But in the same sense I am feeling like this won't work because the OHSS systems could just be my period on her way (grrr I hope not).
I do know if this does work I am not in the clear by any means and something could still happen so I should try not to get too excited if we get a BFP (big fat positive) but it would be hard to contain myself because I have never ever ever ever had a positive pregnancy test.
The anxiousness has settled in.....uhhhh good times!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Being Patient...
You would think I would be patient by now, after going through this for almost 2.5 years...but NOPE! It seems like everything with infertility is a wait: a wait to get in to see a doctor, a wait for certain day blood tests, ovulation, temperature rises, more doctor waits, waiting for your period, waiting until you were at least close to pee on a stick....ok I could keep going!!!
I am so very impatient and if this worked I can't wait to be excited and if this didn't work I can't wait to move on and get on the list for our frozen blast transfer or to know if I should start to look into adoption or what....
I have been keeping busy so I thought that would help but NOPE. So while baking buns I thought...maybe I am baking a bun in my oven. Lol Or while at a Dinner Theater I see a baby and thought how lucky they were to have that baby so easily....I know people take getting pregnant so quickly for granted. My sister inlaw has 4 kids and she doesn't even know where the sperm meets egg....it took us long to get pregnant with child #3, oh really how long? 3 months! Grrr....
Positive thoughts...have positive outcomes?! I have always hoped so but have gotten hurt in the end so plan for the worst and hope for the best?! I dunno that one doesnt seem right either...so right now I am going to just be hopeful and if this doesn't work then I will deal with that when the time comes!
As far as I know this is the closest I have been to being pregnant so I am trying to take at least this much in!!!
Chow for now!
I am so very impatient and if this worked I can't wait to be excited and if this didn't work I can't wait to move on and get on the list for our frozen blast transfer or to know if I should start to look into adoption or what....
I have been keeping busy so I thought that would help but NOPE. So while baking buns I thought...maybe I am baking a bun in my oven. Lol Or while at a Dinner Theater I see a baby and thought how lucky they were to have that baby so easily....I know people take getting pregnant so quickly for granted. My sister inlaw has 4 kids and she doesn't even know where the sperm meets egg....it took us long to get pregnant with child #3, oh really how long? 3 months! Grrr....
Positive thoughts...have positive outcomes?! I have always hoped so but have gotten hurt in the end so plan for the worst and hope for the best?! I dunno that one doesnt seem right either...so right now I am going to just be hopeful and if this doesn't work then I will deal with that when the time comes!
As far as I know this is the closest I have been to being pregnant so I am trying to take at least this much in!!!
Chow for now!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise
Well yesterday was our transfer day of our beautiful blastocyst! We got to see a picture of it before the transfer, and also got to watch the little bubble go into my uterus.
They were able to freeze another beautiful blast yesterday and the other 8 were still in the running! Sadly they called today and said we had no more to freeze so I was instantly sad. But this is going to work!!! Right?
And maybe for other future babies my body will just know what to do and get pregnant on our own...at least having 1 on ice will take a little pressure off!!!
And the wait begins..
Test day is my birthday May 22nd so let's hope it's the best birthday present a girl could ask for!
Over and out!
They were able to freeze another beautiful blast yesterday and the other 8 were still in the running! Sadly they called today and said we had no more to freeze so I was instantly sad. But this is going to work!!! Right?
And maybe for other future babies my body will just know what to do and get pregnant on our own...at least having 1 on ice will take a little pressure off!!!
And the wait begins..
Test day is my birthday May 22nd so let's hope it's the best birthday present a girl could ask for!
Over and out!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Update of embabies and my assessment!
This morning was a long morning! I went in for my 7:45 appointment and got put in the u/s room right away. Stripped down and lied there for a good 15 fifteen minutes before anyone came ( I thought they forgot about me!). Finally a nurse and a new Doc I have never met came in, he did a quick look inside and said there is a small amount of fluid in my ovaries and a pregnancy could/would make it worse. But in the end it was up to us to make the ultimate decision if we do a fresh transfer because it's not severe. So yes obviously we are doing a fresh transfer but whether it be 2 day 3's or 1 day 5 blast was another decision. 2 day 3's would increase the risk of OHSS and if both stick being pregnant with twins is high risk. The doctor and embryologist both gave a recommendation and we said we would stick with the recommendation because they should know best, we chose to transfer 1 day 5 blast...now let's just hope we have lots that make it there and we have some to freeze also!
I felt I was starting to go stir crazy in the hotel room, so I drove home today to have 2 good sleeps in my own bed and then hubby and I will go back on transfer day.
I need a nap after all that's mind spinning and driving
I felt I was starting to go stir crazy in the hotel room, so I drove home today to have 2 good sleeps in my own bed and then hubby and I will go back on transfer day.
I need a nap after all that's mind spinning and driving
Monday, May 09, 2011
Fertilization Report #2
Today's report 1 of the 10 embryo's is falling behind but isn't out yet. So still have 9 good ones.
Tomorrow I have an assessment first thing in the a.m. To make sure I don't have any fluid building up for OHSS... Fingers crossed I am good to continue onto the transfer.
Right now I am so torn between transferring 1 day 5 blast or 2 day 3's The embryologist said that if we decide to do a day 5 blast that they would leave the best looking 4 embryo's and freeze the rest on day 3. She also said that only 50% make it to a blast and so that would be two left and they would only transfer 1 blast....the only way they would freeze a day 5 is if there were more than one to freeze. That makes me sad to know that if there is only one embryo left that they won't freeze it and that we are pretty much just letting a possible baby die off....:( It makes me sad to think that.
So right now I am leaning towards putting in 2 day 3's and have the 50% chance of having twins. That way all of the rest are getting froze for the future (if this doesn't work or for future babies).
This will be one of the toughest decisions we make in our life because it could be very life changing.
Tomorrow I have an assessment first thing in the a.m. To make sure I don't have any fluid building up for OHSS... Fingers crossed I am good to continue onto the transfer.
Right now I am so torn between transferring 1 day 5 blast or 2 day 3's The embryologist said that if we decide to do a day 5 blast that they would leave the best looking 4 embryo's and freeze the rest on day 3. She also said that only 50% make it to a blast and so that would be two left and they would only transfer 1 blast....the only way they would freeze a day 5 is if there were more than one to freeze. That makes me sad to know that if there is only one embryo left that they won't freeze it and that we are pretty much just letting a possible baby die off....:( It makes me sad to think that.
So right now I am leaning towards putting in 2 day 3's and have the 50% chance of having twins. That way all of the rest are getting froze for the future (if this doesn't work or for future babies).
This will be one of the toughest decisions we make in our life because it could be very life changing.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Fertilization Report
Last night hubby and I hardly slept!!! We were very nervous/excited to get the call from the embryologist to let us know how and if they fertilized. She called early like she said she would... Before 8am. Of the 13 mature eggs 10 fertilized and they were quite happy with that and so were we! Tomorrow she will call with the quality and another report on how they are doing and we might know better if we are doing a day 3 or day 5 transfer or if I get symptoms of OHSS too bad we might just have to freeze and do a frozen embryo transfer instead but i really hope not!!!
Today I had to start progesterone suppositories up my woo woo and estrogen pills twice a day...fun times!
Today I had to start progesterone suppositories up my woo woo and estrogen pills twice a day...fun times!
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Egg Retrieval Day!
Well today was the big day (well one of them anyhow!). The IV that I was so scared about was nothing at all, one try and done. I wasn't eally scared about the ER as I thought that the cyst drainage was a breeze without drugs...but I was wrong. I felt the drugs at first before the doc even got in there but they seemed to taper off quite quickly, I felt really good pinches and ugly pressures that pinched, then one ovary was done and onto th next. I even had a tear rolling down my cheek but he said he was almost done so I was looking forward to that. As soon as it was all over and done with I felt like I could have walked out of there but I had to stay in covert for an hour. The embryologist came over and told us many they retrieved and she said 19 were retrieved and 13 were mature, 3 were immature and the other 3 were inconclusive. Honestly I thought there would have been more from the OHSS risk and from the counts at the u/s's.
Glad that is off the list!!! Just waiting for the fertilization report!
Glad that is off the list!!! Just waiting for the fertilization report!
Friday, May 06, 2011
No more needles!
Last night I did my last needles at midnight and it is so nice to think that I don't have to do any drugs today except for the Dostinex before I go to bed tonight taken orally.
Oh wait I forgot that they gave me a single pill of Valium to take tonight to sleep if I wanted...I don't have problems sleeping so I won't take it but I thought I would just keep it for the hell of it! Who knows this might not work and I might need a good nights sleep after that...lol. Good times!
Had to come back and update! So after I hit publish post, the ad on the side was "drug rehab", WAY to funny and had to come back and share!
Oh wait I forgot that they gave me a single pill of Valium to take tonight to sleep if I wanted...I don't have problems sleeping so I won't take it but I thought I would just keep it for the hell of it! Who knows this might not work and I might need a good nights sleep after that...lol. Good times!
Had to come back and update! So after I hit publish post, the ad on the side was "drug rehab", WAY to funny and had to come back and share!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Trigger Shot Night...
Tonight is the night! I got the call to come back into the clinic to get the trigger shot and info for the egg retrieval!
The plan is... Continue sniffing today and then I am all done that, take the HCG shots in two different spots tonight at midnight, and then take a Dostinex (cabergoline). The Dostinex is to help with the prevention and treatment of OHSS and I take it for 8 days straight. Hopefully this helps and I can get the embryo transfer done next week (providing we have fertilized embryo's), the side effects are dizziness and light-headedness so that's why I take it at night and if I get up in the middle of the night am supposed to get up very slowly so I don't faint.
I am quite excited that tonight is my last night of injections!!!! Woohoo! And even more excited to see my husband who will be coming here tomorrow night!
ER is Saturday and our first fertilization report is Sunday morning sometime... I am most anxious/excited and nervous about that!
Over and Out!
The plan is... Continue sniffing today and then I am all done that, take the HCG shots in two different spots tonight at midnight, and then take a Dostinex (cabergoline). The Dostinex is to help with the prevention and treatment of OHSS and I take it for 8 days straight. Hopefully this helps and I can get the embryo transfer done next week (providing we have fertilized embryo's), the side effects are dizziness and light-headedness so that's why I take it at night and if I get up in the middle of the night am supposed to get up very slowly so I don't faint.
I am quite excited that tonight is my last night of injections!!!! Woohoo! And even more excited to see my husband who will be coming here tomorrow night!
ER is Saturday and our first fertilization report is Sunday morning sometime... I am most anxious/excited and nervous about that!
Over and Out!
A poke and a prod ...
This morning was another poke (blood test) and another prod (internal u/s)... fun times!
Every time here I have had a new doctor and all of them are excellent! Today was Dr. Scott a lady, yesterday was Dr. Green and he was hilarious! Dr. Scott let me know I am still at risk of OHSS but we won't know until we get there, tonight might be trigger night but that soley depends on my blood test results to see where my estrogen levels are...all I know it was above 10,000.
I have met a great lady in the waiting room here, it's so nice to talk to someone at the same track as me and might even have the same ER day as me. We joked they might mix up our babies but once they came out clearly we would know they aren't ours (she has darker skin and I am very white).
Then I went in to see the counsellor as they make us see her once while undergoing IVF, she is super nice and easy to talk to! I told her I am shocked that these drugs haven't turned me into a crazy person, I pre-warned my husband I am sorry in advance and that it was a good thing he wasn't around while I was doing injections, BUT all is good.
Waiting for the phone call...
Every time here I have had a new doctor and all of them are excellent! Today was Dr. Scott a lady, yesterday was Dr. Green and he was hilarious! Dr. Scott let me know I am still at risk of OHSS but we won't know until we get there, tonight might be trigger night but that soley depends on my blood test results to see where my estrogen levels are...all I know it was above 10,000.
I have met a great lady in the waiting room here, it's so nice to talk to someone at the same track as me and might even have the same ER day as me. We joked they might mix up our babies but once they came out clearly we would know they aren't ours (she has darker skin and I am very white).
Then I went in to see the counsellor as they make us see her once while undergoing IVF, she is super nice and easy to talk to! I told her I am shocked that these drugs haven't turned me into a crazy person, I pre-warned my husband I am sorry in advance and that it was a good thing he wasn't around while I was doing injections, BUT all is good.
Waiting for the phone call...
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Today's u/s and blood work...
Today the clinic wasn't as busy (woohoo)!
My right arm is starting to look very bruised and sore to touch but that is something I am willing to deal with for a baby, along with the injections, daily visits to the clinic, etc...
They counted the follies and there was 11 on one side and 12 on the other side, they then talked to me about being at risk of OHSS and told I would get a call back on dosage after my blood work results are done. They lowered my dosage to 75 gonalf and 75 luveris and I am thinking this might be the last injections but who knows.
I go back tomorrow for another u/s and blood work, which I am happy about because I would rather be closely monitored while I am here rather than bunking in a hotel and missing something!
So back to the clinic I go tomorrow! I am shopped out so tomorrow I will sleep, relax and do some sewing!
My right arm is starting to look very bruised and sore to touch but that is something I am willing to deal with for a baby, along with the injections, daily visits to the clinic, etc...
They counted the follies and there was 11 on one side and 12 on the other side, they then talked to me about being at risk of OHSS and told I would get a call back on dosage after my blood work results are done. They lowered my dosage to 75 gonalf and 75 luveris and I am thinking this might be the last injections but who knows.
I go back tomorrow for another u/s and blood work, which I am happy about because I would rather be closely monitored while I am here rather than bunking in a hotel and missing something!
So back to the clinic I go tomorrow! I am shopped out so tomorrow I will sleep, relax and do some sewing!
Monday, May 02, 2011
First Ultrasound after Stimming...
So as I sit here in the packed clinic and wait I thought I would start this off....
Monday morning and people are just filing in here and packing the place like sardines.... Out of the whole clinc there was 2 people who brought there kids! Ok if they are going to be quiet and sit there good I wouldn't mind as much but one lady brought her 3 year old and let her speak very loudly, tried to butt in front of other people because her kid was getting impatient (sorry lady you should have gotten a babysitter and they just told her first come first serve) Thank goodness...although it would be nice to get them out of here :)
I finally went in for my third blood test of this cycle and my viens are still doing good..thank goodness because there could be lots to go yet!
Ultra-sound is done and the first thing the doctor said was "WOW you got a lot going on down here!" He measured and counted and I have 11 on the right side where they drained the cyst last Tuesday and 9 on the left side all measuring around the same 1.2 ish. So I go back on Wednesday for another u/s and blood test and should know betteer when the ER date is!
Monday morning and people are just filing in here and packing the place like sardines.... Out of the whole clinc there was 2 people who brought there kids! Ok if they are going to be quiet and sit there good I wouldn't mind as much but one lady brought her 3 year old and let her speak very loudly, tried to butt in front of other people because her kid was getting impatient (sorry lady you should have gotten a babysitter and they just told her first come first serve) Thank goodness...although it would be nice to get them out of here :)
I finally went in for my third blood test of this cycle and my viens are still doing good..thank goodness because there could be lots to go yet!
Ultra-sound is done and the first thing the doctor said was "WOW you got a lot going on down here!" He measured and counted and I have 11 on the right side where they drained the cyst last Tuesday and 9 on the left side all measuring around the same 1.2 ish. So I go back on Wednesday for another u/s and blood test and should know betteer when the ER date is!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
One day before I leave...
Well today is my first and last day at home for awhile...tomorrow I am off to Calgary for 2 weeks or so.
Yesterday was my drive to Saskatoon for blood tests, 5am is way to early for me and I was a zombie for the first hour of driving and not really feeling very good but made it after 2 hrs of driving way to fast. Got there 20 minutes early because it's a first come first serve thing and was the third person so once the door was open I got in right away. Did a few errands around the city and then went to my first acupuncture appointment? Acu was neat to say the least...looking forward to my appointments I booked in Calgary. Then I drove home at normal speeds because I was wider awake, scared of police because it was a friday, and I was just going back to work so nothing to really rush home for, lol.
Got the call from the FC that my blood tests were good and my meds are all staying the same...I am pretty sure that's what I wanted to hear! I didn't bother asking for numbers because I didn't really know much of what they meant but I will next week while I am there.
Injections are going ok... I did 3 pokes like nothing (finished off one pen and started another) ... And then the luveris siringe (no more psych outs...yay!). The luveris made me go wonky like one of the HCG trigger shots did... My eyes blurred out, my ears were ringing and I started to get weak and sweat. I felt around the medicine cabinet for the thermometer and plopped on the couch... My temp was 101.0 so I waited it out for 15 minutes and everything was good but my ears, took temp again and it was 100.7. So I took some Tylenol as the IVF nurse said it was ok to take that...finally my temp went down to 99 and I figured that was ok!
All is good now though and hopefully that doesn't happen again tonight.
Better get my ass in gear and finish packing and cleaning the house.
Chow!
Yesterday was my drive to Saskatoon for blood tests, 5am is way to early for me and I was a zombie for the first hour of driving and not really feeling very good but made it after 2 hrs of driving way to fast. Got there 20 minutes early because it's a first come first serve thing and was the third person so once the door was open I got in right away. Did a few errands around the city and then went to my first acupuncture appointment? Acu was neat to say the least...looking forward to my appointments I booked in Calgary. Then I drove home at normal speeds because I was wider awake, scared of police because it was a friday, and I was just going back to work so nothing to really rush home for, lol.
Got the call from the FC that my blood tests were good and my meds are all staying the same...I am pretty sure that's what I wanted to hear! I didn't bother asking for numbers because I didn't really know much of what they meant but I will next week while I am there.
Injections are going ok... I did 3 pokes like nothing (finished off one pen and started another) ... And then the luveris siringe (no more psych outs...yay!). The luveris made me go wonky like one of the HCG trigger shots did... My eyes blurred out, my ears were ringing and I started to get weak and sweat. I felt around the medicine cabinet for the thermometer and plopped on the couch... My temp was 101.0 so I waited it out for 15 minutes and everything was good but my ears, took temp again and it was 100.7. So I took some Tylenol as the IVF nurse said it was ok to take that...finally my temp went down to 99 and I figured that was ok!
All is good now though and hopefully that doesn't happen again tonight.
Better get my ass in gear and finish packing and cleaning the house.
Chow!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Glad to be home!!!
Well that was quite the Monday/Tuesday... what a shit show! My last post was when I got to Calgary and was in my hotel room bed. That night I hardly slept a wink and was up at 6:30 to get ready for the day (one good thing was that I got to check out the hotel where I will be staying for the 2 weeks!). Went to the clinic and got a blood test done at 8am and 10 minutes later went in for the quickest ultrasound in my life. The doctor did an internal said lining looks great, left ovary is excellent and right ovary has a large cyst measured it and done in a matter of 30 seconds! The doctor explained to me we had to wait for the blood tests to check the estrogen to see if it was a drainable cyst or not and I would probably get a phone call around 11am. So went shopping to a nearby mall and waited for the call... sure enough 10:50am get the call "Please be here in 10-15 minutes!". Jumped in the truck and zipped over there and had to wait for 10 minutes and I am nervous at the moment not knowing what was happening. The nurse took me in and I walked all of the way to the back where I had never been before. She told me we will be draining the cyst and I need to strip down to my nothings and put in the robe. She took my blood pressure and went over the procedure with me saying it was just like egg retrieval so it was just a trial run.
Went into the exact room where they do ER and ET (same as the picture they showed us at the IVF info session). Put my legs up in the holders, sanitized, the doc went in with an ultra-sound probe that had a guide beside it she said lining was good, wasn't the left ovary, yup it's the right. She said I will feel a good poke so I took a deep breathe and she said it was done and I didn't feel a thing, I wasn't the u/s screen and watched the cyst get smaller and smaller and then it was gone. She said she was taking the needle out and that hurt more than anything but still not bad at all, she showed me how much fluid she got out and wholly shit it was a fully vial!! So neat. I went back out of the room and had to sit in a chair for a bit and they went over my calendar with me and instructions on when to take meds and what not. Away I went... the after cramping was probably the worst feeling but really wasn't all that bad. You hear people say how ER is so bad and ouchie but it was a piece of cake and I have no fears come the ER now (besides they will be giving me drugs so I definately won't be feeling anything)... guessing the IV will be the worse part!
So all is good now, went home right after the drainage 5.5hrs later made it! Took out my meds right away, took my antibiotics, got my gonal-f pen ready and sat there for a good two minutes pinching my belly fat trying to work up the courage to just poke.... DID IT... click click click as the fluid is going in and done!! Got out the syringe and vials and mix up that needle and I actually thought it was fun.... Poke... and done! One day down and many more to go....
Went into the exact room where they do ER and ET (same as the picture they showed us at the IVF info session). Put my legs up in the holders, sanitized, the doc went in with an ultra-sound probe that had a guide beside it she said lining was good, wasn't the left ovary, yup it's the right. She said I will feel a good poke so I took a deep breathe and she said it was done and I didn't feel a thing, I wasn't the u/s screen and watched the cyst get smaller and smaller and then it was gone. She said she was taking the needle out and that hurt more than anything but still not bad at all, she showed me how much fluid she got out and wholly shit it was a fully vial!! So neat. I went back out of the room and had to sit in a chair for a bit and they went over my calendar with me and instructions on when to take meds and what not. Away I went... the after cramping was probably the worst feeling but really wasn't all that bad. You hear people say how ER is so bad and ouchie but it was a piece of cake and I have no fears come the ER now (besides they will be giving me drugs so I definately won't be feeling anything)... guessing the IV will be the worse part!
So all is good now, went home right after the drainage 5.5hrs later made it! Took out my meds right away, took my antibiotics, got my gonal-f pen ready and sat there for a good two minutes pinching my belly fat trying to work up the courage to just poke.... DID IT... click click click as the fluid is going in and done!! Got out the syringe and vials and mix up that needle and I actually thought it was fun.... Poke... and done! One day down and many more to go....
Monday, April 25, 2011
Stupid Cyst
Well today I had my baseline u/s.... On my drive there I thought I felt a twinge in my right ovary...when normally I get cysts in my left and that is what I feel right now.
On my drive home from the u/s clinic I called the fertility clinic as they should have had my results by then and told them to call my cell phone. I get home 1 hour later and here they called me on my home phone and left a message....CALL MY CELL WHEN I SAY CALL MY CELL! Anyhow..I talked to the lady and she explained I had a large cyst on my right ovary and they need to do a blood test to make sure I am suspressing properly and that the cyst isn't producing estrogen. Also I will be getting another ultra sound so they can look at it themselves. Then will be the procedure for them to burst the cyst...they said it's the same procedure as the egg retrieval but without the iv drugs...eel. Not sure what to think about that!!!!
But I asked if this could still get cancelled and she said no they will take care of it all and I should be starting my injections tomorrow in the pm after all of this.
Then there is a drive home for over 5 hrs! Booooooo....
Wish me luck!
On my drive home from the u/s clinic I called the fertility clinic as they should have had my results by then and told them to call my cell phone. I get home 1 hour later and here they called me on my home phone and left a message....CALL MY CELL WHEN I SAY CALL MY CELL! Anyhow..I talked to the lady and she explained I had a large cyst on my right ovary and they need to do a blood test to make sure I am suspressing properly and that the cyst isn't producing estrogen. Also I will be getting another ultra sound so they can look at it themselves. Then will be the procedure for them to burst the cyst...they said it's the same procedure as the egg retrieval but without the iv drugs...eel. Not sure what to think about that!!!!
But I asked if this could still get cancelled and she said no they will take care of it all and I should be starting my injections tomorrow in the pm after all of this.
Then there is a drive home for over 5 hrs! Booooooo....
Wish me luck!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Easter Weekend...and some family thoughts.
Today I am feeling all crampy and bloated and wanted to lay in bed all morning!! But instead I have been up since 6:30 to sniff my meds that cause me to be pre-menopausal and couldn't go back to sleep after trying for 2 hours!! The sister inlaw called to go for a walk and I almost said no but I am glad I never!! What a beautiful day it is out there (minus the wind), we went for a long and fast paced walk and hit up some of the country side (the smell of cow shit and all). Got home and took off my jacket and had titty sweat and the whole shi-bang... yay for me that I don't have to feel guilty for not doing a work out with Jillian Michael's today.
Yesterday was a long day though even though only an hour of it was only the real annoying part. It was Easter at the Inlaws... excellent people and they know of our circumstances. Hubby's 2 sisters have 7 kids altogether (3 & 4) all under the age of 8 and I watched every one of them grow up from baby to now. This Easter was hard and I really didn't think any of this bothered me but it was all about the kids, the Easter bunny and egg hunt. I was not interested in any of it.... and I said no that's ok I don't want to go outside and freeze my ass off to watch kids scream, cry, run... so a few of us stayed inside and worked on a puzzle, ate some snacks, and chatted. Then after supper it was dishes time, me and the brother inlaws fiance got up to put stuff away even though we don't know our way around the kitchen that well but we managed to get them done EVERY HOLIDAY!!! You know what hubbies sisters do???? FUCK ALL or find something else to make them "look busy", the one said "It's nice to have the Step sisters do all the dishes", so hubby calls them both "Anastasia & Drizella" and us other two Cinderella's (thank hun!!). The one sister who had he first comment didn't like that so pouted and then got up and helped out! The other... sat there there... drank her coffee, played with her kid..... FUCK THAT!! So next Thanksgiving if this happens again I think I might flip out! There is excuses all the time~ or little comments that make me want to strangle them. Like "When you have kids we will do the dishes!"... ok your husbands are quite capable to watch the kids for the short time it takes to do dishes!
Then it was the egg dying... Mother Inlaw always wants to try something new with dying the eggs to see how it turns out so I am always the one who tries it out. I did the eggs all up, put it in the cups I chose and watch it like a hawk because this is the only egg I am doing to make her happy. I turned away for one second and BAMN a kid tries taking it out and crack! Ok kids will be kids and shit happens but me PMSy, no kids, I am starting to feel very annoyed. I say it's ok, stick around and watch and take a few pictures for the moms with them dying eggs with there kids and then I bolt back to the puzzle as soon as I was done taking pictures. I needed my alone time in a quiet spot....
~~~~OK THAT RANT IS OVER!!~~~~ Today is a good day!!
Today is Easter with my family!! Love them all! LOVE LOVE LOVE my sisters kids and I feel much closer with them than the 7 other kids. She has two of the cutest girls ever so I can't wait to see them. One just got her tonsils lasered out and might be down and out and the other little stinker is at the doctor as we speak with puss at the back of her throat, hopefully she gets some meds to get better. At the back of my head I keep thinking, please don't get sick, please don't get sick... that's the last thing that I want right now. But I am tonsil free so if it's tonsilis I am good to go and won't have any worries!!
It might be an awkward day today though... by no means is my family perfect!
That's all a lot I had to say today but if you are reading this post now you know a little more about me, my family, and the struggles that everyone goes through even beyond infertility.
Yesterday was a long day though even though only an hour of it was only the real annoying part. It was Easter at the Inlaws... excellent people and they know of our circumstances. Hubby's 2 sisters have 7 kids altogether (3 & 4) all under the age of 8 and I watched every one of them grow up from baby to now. This Easter was hard and I really didn't think any of this bothered me but it was all about the kids, the Easter bunny and egg hunt. I was not interested in any of it.... and I said no that's ok I don't want to go outside and freeze my ass off to watch kids scream, cry, run... so a few of us stayed inside and worked on a puzzle, ate some snacks, and chatted. Then after supper it was dishes time, me and the brother inlaws fiance got up to put stuff away even though we don't know our way around the kitchen that well but we managed to get them done EVERY HOLIDAY!!! You know what hubbies sisters do???? FUCK ALL or find something else to make them "look busy", the one said "It's nice to have the Step sisters do all the dishes", so hubby calls them both "Anastasia & Drizella" and us other two Cinderella's (thank hun!!). The one sister who had he first comment didn't like that so pouted and then got up and helped out! The other... sat there there... drank her coffee, played with her kid..... FUCK THAT!! So next Thanksgiving if this happens again I think I might flip out! There is excuses all the time~ or little comments that make me want to strangle them. Like "When you have kids we will do the dishes!"... ok your husbands are quite capable to watch the kids for the short time it takes to do dishes!
Then it was the egg dying... Mother Inlaw always wants to try something new with dying the eggs to see how it turns out so I am always the one who tries it out. I did the eggs all up, put it in the cups I chose and watch it like a hawk because this is the only egg I am doing to make her happy. I turned away for one second and BAMN a kid tries taking it out and crack! Ok kids will be kids and shit happens but me PMSy, no kids, I am starting to feel very annoyed. I say it's ok, stick around and watch and take a few pictures for the moms with them dying eggs with there kids and then I bolt back to the puzzle as soon as I was done taking pictures. I needed my alone time in a quiet spot....
~~~~OK THAT RANT IS OVER!!~~~~ Today is a good day!!
Today is Easter with my family!! Love them all! LOVE LOVE LOVE my sisters kids and I feel much closer with them than the 7 other kids. She has two of the cutest girls ever so I can't wait to see them. One just got her tonsils lasered out and might be down and out and the other little stinker is at the doctor as we speak with puss at the back of her throat, hopefully she gets some meds to get better. At the back of my head I keep thinking, please don't get sick, please don't get sick... that's the last thing that I want right now. But I am tonsil free so if it's tonsilis I am good to go and won't have any worries!!
It might be an awkward day today though... by no means is my family perfect!
- I have a brother I have seen or spoken to in over a year (pretty sure he didn't answer the phone so he isn't coming home as always)
- My dad is a walking time bomb in my mind and it makes my eyes water to just type that (he had a stroke and a heart attack) and is on meds and shouldn't be drinking anymore but still does after two scares (or warnings in life as I like to call them). Some people don't get warnings so he should consider himself very lucky and I do just to still have him around! But my mom always says that drinking is his "social" way of life and it would be like life would quit if he didn't... sometimes I think she is just covering for him and maybe he has a drinking problem??? My dad and I are really tight though... he likes to think he was the one who raised me and my mom had nothing to do with it (funny funny). My dad and I are very much alike! We hunt together, we are both tough emtionally, both speak out minds.... I could keep going.
- My mom is the rock in our family and keeps it together. She is amazing and supportive and full of advice.
- My sister who feels like a twin to me! We are 6 years apart but seem like the same person in most ways. She is more like mom in some ways as I am more like my dad. She wouldn't hurt a fly, as I hunt big game. She would someone talk shit about her, and I would say something directly to that person. But other than that... my goodness... we watch the same TV shows, listen to the same music, think EXACLY alike... I say something before she even can. We don't even have to ask eachother for opinions because we know what eachother would say but still do for some re-assurance!
- The brother inlaw (my sisters husband)... he is another story and that is why it might be awkward today!? I am not sure what to think of this all... but he hasn't always been there for my sister and he recently had an "incident" involving drinking and jumping out of a moving vehicle and smashing his face to the pavement (resulting in a broken/bruised face/and ego). I haven't seen him since this has happened and I think he is quite imbarrassed about it (or at least should be)but the upside is he getting help. So I am happy to report he is getting help but I just hope he can follow through with it all... I just hope he will always be there for my sister and her girls from now on because if he can't, it may break there family up :(
That's all a lot I had to say today but if you are reading this post now you know a little more about me, my family, and the struggles that everyone goes through even beyond infertility.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
What a day...
So work was ok but I was very pmsy. My boobs are so sore I can hardly touch them... and people tell me it's going to be 10 times worse when I have babies (I bag to differ). I went from a small B to a good C in my mind! Major spillage out the B cups today! lol
I called the Pharmacy and told them I was ready for my debreifing on the injections and meds and what not.... of course I had to leave a message and they would call back (still mad that they don't answer the phone anywhere to do with fertility... wonder if they have some crazies who call all the time and they just screen those calls, hope that doesn't turn into me). Anyhoo I got a call back and the lady who called me wasn't even able to go over them with me when I clearly stated on the message that's what I wanted to do! So she said the Pharmacist would call me back when she had a moment. Got the call at 2:30 and normally they are only open until 2pm so I was shocked! The lady was amazing and kind and joked... it really made me feel better in the end! She re-assured me that it's fairly hard to screw up and that I will do fine (I don't like hugging but I would have probably hugged her!).
Right after that phone call I felt crampy so when to the bathroom... wiped and here is AF showed up with no warning other than the boobs and PMS! lol. Normally there is some sort of spotting first and then she comes full red but nope! So now I am worrying that she came too soon. As my first u/s is only on CD5 and I would only start my meds then at the earliest!? I dunno... guess I gotta go and see what others did online! I love having internet friends who have gone through the same things to compare to!
I called in my Day 1 as instructed to, so I might be getting a phone call from them.
Thinking back....
When I first got my calendar from the IVF nurse I was leary about the dates because I told her I had such a short cycle 24-26 and that the u/s would have ended up being CD32. She said sniffing would lengthen it but it only did by 2 days so will I be starting stims soon enough? Will embryo transfer be too late in my cycle that they won't have time to bake in the oven? That is all to say if I even get there.... the thought is still in my head that this could get cancelled anytime along the way... and I know that thought needs to stay there because it very well could get cancelled (happens to the best of us). I will plan for the worst and hope for the best through this whole dang journey and try not to get my hopes up too much!
I called the Pharmacy and told them I was ready for my debreifing on the injections and meds and what not.... of course I had to leave a message and they would call back (still mad that they don't answer the phone anywhere to do with fertility... wonder if they have some crazies who call all the time and they just screen those calls, hope that doesn't turn into me). Anyhoo I got a call back and the lady who called me wasn't even able to go over them with me when I clearly stated on the message that's what I wanted to do! So she said the Pharmacist would call me back when she had a moment. Got the call at 2:30 and normally they are only open until 2pm so I was shocked! The lady was amazing and kind and joked... it really made me feel better in the end! She re-assured me that it's fairly hard to screw up and that I will do fine (I don't like hugging but I would have probably hugged her!).
Right after that phone call I felt crampy so when to the bathroom... wiped and here is AF showed up with no warning other than the boobs and PMS! lol. Normally there is some sort of spotting first and then she comes full red but nope! So now I am worrying that she came too soon. As my first u/s is only on CD5 and I would only start my meds then at the earliest!? I dunno... guess I gotta go and see what others did online! I love having internet friends who have gone through the same things to compare to!
I called in my Day 1 as instructed to, so I might be getting a phone call from them.
Thinking back....
When I first got my calendar from the IVF nurse I was leary about the dates because I told her I had such a short cycle 24-26 and that the u/s would have ended up being CD32. She said sniffing would lengthen it but it only did by 2 days so will I be starting stims soon enough? Will embryo transfer be too late in my cycle that they won't have time to bake in the oven? That is all to say if I even get there.... the thought is still in my head that this could get cancelled anytime along the way... and I know that thought needs to stay there because it very well could get cancelled (happens to the best of us). I will plan for the worst and hope for the best through this whole dang journey and try not to get my hopes up too much!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
What to pack?
I have been nervous to pack but I know I better get started sooner than later! I will be staying in Calgary in a hotel room for 2 weeks. And for the first week it's just going to be me, myself, and I. Hubby is going to be super busy at work and can't really leave them hanging at work which I am totally fine with (right now). He has to be there the day before egg retrieval and the day after... so pretty much 3 days.
Here's my list so far... please feel free to post more items you think I should pack!!
Here's my list so far... please feel free to post more items you think I should pack!!
Calgary List
· Ipod and ear buds
· Ipad/charger cord
· Sewing machine and jeans (going to make a jean quilt)
· Vitamins
· Medicine
· Phone charger
· Wireless router incase they only have free wired connections.
- comfy clothes incase I am feeling bloated.
- normal clothes, undies, socks... etc.
It could have been last month...
So my friend who is going to the same clinic as me did an IUI last month with them and it didn't work. She got the call for IVF starting this month. But yet when I did an IUI in February I wasn't allowed to start in March.... does this make sense? None what-so-ever... especially because she was on a higher dose of clomid than I was and I was told I needed to bleeds before even getting offered. She asked the IVF nurse twice and she said no you definately can go ahead! So that's great for her and I am VERY happy that she can move on so fast!! But mad at the same time that I couldn't have been there last month!!
This IVF procedure I am missing one of my long time friends weddings because I will be stuck in Calgary and it's my hubbies busy time at work (bad timing) but we do what we gotta do.
I love being able to compare everything with her because she gets some info I didn't and I got some she didn't. I thought if I had a cyst that I could get cancelled but nope she said they burst it so it would be a few extra days and that's it... so that was wonderful information to hear. Also we compared meds and are taking completely different ones... I have gonalF with luveris and she just has purgeron. I still don't know why I am taking luveris because another lady I got some gonalF from didn't have to take it. This luveris is making me a little scared because I have to make each needle myself! It's a water with powder... so I will have to put the water into the needle, put the water into the power vial, mix it, put it back into the needles and then inject. The gonalF pen... not really scared about.
The sniffing is going just fine and dandy... looking forward to Monday (my ultrasound day). Want to know when I am starting meds and when I have to drive back to the city for blood tests.
This IVF procedure I am missing one of my long time friends weddings because I will be stuck in Calgary and it's my hubbies busy time at work (bad timing) but we do what we gotta do.
I love being able to compare everything with her because she gets some info I didn't and I got some she didn't. I thought if I had a cyst that I could get cancelled but nope she said they burst it so it would be a few extra days and that's it... so that was wonderful information to hear. Also we compared meds and are taking completely different ones... I have gonalF with luveris and she just has purgeron. I still don't know why I am taking luveris because another lady I got some gonalF from didn't have to take it. This luveris is making me a little scared because I have to make each needle myself! It's a water with powder... so I will have to put the water into the needle, put the water into the power vial, mix it, put it back into the needles and then inject. The gonalF pen... not really scared about.
The sniffing is going just fine and dandy... looking forward to Monday (my ultrasound day). Want to know when I am starting meds and when I have to drive back to the city for blood tests.
Friday, April 15, 2011
I wish I would have started this sooner....
Our Timeline
- March 2008 went off birth control - I think birth control was turning me into a crazy person after so many years so I thought it was time to go off and clean out my system good before we were ready to "Try".
- January 2009 Started TTC - I was still 'Duh' to the whole TTC process and thought it would take a maximim of 6 months.
- July 2009 had sharp pains on side and Doc sent me for an u/s. U/s showed cyst had just ruptured. - This didn't feel pretty, I remembered I was going with my friend to try on bridesmaid dresses and damn it hurt and I was keeling over (I knew it wasn't my appendix because it was on the left side). Dr. M sent me for an u/s and they only wanted me to go in 2 months but my mom (in healthcare) put her foot down and got me in within the next few days!! Thanks Mom!! The u/s tech wasn't supposed to tell me anything but I looked it up on Dr. Google enough to know what I was talking about and to ask questions and he told me the answers (thanks Mr. Techie).
- August 2009 Starting to wonder so got OPKs - Got the expensive ovulation preditor kit with the 7 sticks and I was determined to get the timing down perfectly so the cysts wouldn't come back. Joke was on me I guess.
- January 2010 went to family Dr. and DH went for a s/a and I did Day 21 bloodwork. Got a call back and my bloodwork shows I am ovulating. DH's morphology is so so. - Just started to get the ball rolling here medically.
- February 2010 get 2nd s/a to compare results after DH started vitamins and took antibiotics to make sure there is no infection. Call back and refered to a Urologist just to check things out. Meanwhile I get on a waitlist to see an OBGYN at my request to get more checked out on my end. - I really don't think we waited long enough to get the 2nd s/a done but whatever.
- April 2010 DH goes to the Urologist and she thought all was fine but sent him for a scrotal u/s to just make sure there was no varicoles. - The doc called us back (thank goodness we didn't need to drive over 3 hrs back) and she said everything looked good and that IUI's should do the trick for us as long as everything looks good on my end. I went for my initial consult was the the OBGYN and he booked an u/s and bloodwork for Day 3 & 21. Numbers looked good, started to wonder then what the hell is wrong!?
- May 2010 I get an HSG done by the OBGYN... TUBES ARE CLEAR! YAY! - I remember having to go for a blood test first to make sure I wasn't pregnant, the lab techs were just opening the doors and they all kept ignoring me like I was just there for a chair to sit on. Finally a lady came and took me in and one.....poke it was done. I went and stood in line at the xray lab and I got in right away and the people waiting gave me a good glare. I went in my little closet of a room, stripped down to my skivvies (all but the socks of course!). Waited....waited... watied... finally a nurse came and told me we were still waiting on the blood test results (by now the Advil they told me to take prior to have this done was not gunna do its thing anymore). But finally I got called in (hoping MAYBE...just maybe there was a chance that the blood test was going to come back postive. NOPE! Story of my life BFN! Hopped up on the cold metal xray table, waited for the doc and got right at it. It was a relief to get that out of the way and didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. I remember him have to blow up the balloon twice and it pinched really hard but what's a 2 second pinch? The nurse told me it was all done and that I could go and change. TMI coming up.... I stood up and he left a god damn straw for drain in me and I looked under my hospital cape thing and yup... I told the nurse and she was imbarrassed for the doc and was like "Oh I am so sorry", as I am leaking dye onto the floor threw this damn straw. Pulled out the straw and bolted back to my closet to put my clothes on and get the hell outta there!
- Somewhere in here I went back to the doctor and he told me my tubes were open and my u/s was good so the next step should be IUI's and I had to see the other doctor for that (THE MOST AWESOME DOCTOR IN THE WORLD DOCTOR!!).
- July 2010 Sign Consent forms for IUI's. Also get put onto the Saskatoon FC waitlist. We were camping this day and it was gloomy and we got a call from the clinic that does IUI's (my fav doc and also an OBGYN). It was only a 30 minute drive and I wanted to hit up Walmart so we drove into the city and read and signed our consent forms and I was just told to call in my Day 1. Then I went to Walmart and got my groceries and back a camping we went!! :)
- End of July called in a Day 1 and the Doc wasn't going to be around when I needed the IUI. Actually I was quite fine just a little disappointed but I thought... it's all good it will happen next month.
- August 2010 Called in another Day 1 "We're sorry he is gone to Toronto for a conference". Starting to get a little annoyed about this and the hubby can tell.
- September 2010 Call in Day 1 and we get to do our first IUI with 50mg of clomid. I had two really good follicles so doc warns it could be twins. Ending with a negative. Didn't even think for a second this wasn't going to work! In the 2ww I was looking up strollers for twins and everything!! So when my period came... OUCH that hit hard!
- October 13, 2010 (our anniversary) took 50mg of clomid and IUI cancelled due to early ovulation. Also get put onto Edmonton and Calgary FC waitlists. Hubby came along with me to this appointment just for an u/s to check on when our IUI date would be. Doc told me we missed the surge and IUI is not happening this month. But were told to still try on our own (Pfff... Riiiiiight). So I went out to he vehicle to tell DH (where he was waiting for me), my eyes were blood shot... one look at him and my eyes poured out tears. Trying to talk but sobbing... I told him my body is dumb and I already ovulated on CD8 or 9. We still went out for an anniversary supper and after a few days I got over it.
- November 2010 IUI cancelled due to a cyst. Upside got a call from Calgary FC and we can do the IVF info session next month and initial testing. Another freaking cancellation due to my dumb body!! Felt like it was my fault this wasn't happening and I felt like I let down hubby but he re-assured me that I didn't.
- December 2010 3rd attempt at IUI #2 was a go with 50mg of clomid. Ended in a BFN! Thought maybe we would have a Christmas present to ourselves but nope. Went for IVF info session, s/a, u/s, and consult. Signed the papers for IVF and are on the waitlist. The info session was on Thursday night in Calgary and we stayed in a hotel that night (what a waste of a hotel room when you can have hotel room sex). DH had his s/a first thing in the morning then we had to putz around for 3-4 hours waiting for our nex appointment. Finally I had my u/s, got in pretty much right away. The girl u/s tech took me in checked me over. I talked with her as she did it. Asked if she thought I had a heart shaped uterus because at one point one tech told me I did but it wasn't bad. She looked and looked and didn't think so. I was good to go and went back and put my pants on and I was told to wait to take my report directly to the doc (my next app). She came back and said sorry do you mind coming back in here I just want another persons opinion on your uterus, "ok lets get this all figured out while I am here!". Went back in and they both looked and talked and it was nothing (WOOHOO). Then we were almost late for our next appointment with the FC doc. We got in right away, talked to the nurse, talked to the doc and he said DH's s/a was excellent, my u/s was beautiful and he wasn't really sure why this wasn't working. So we agreed that IVF would be the next step so we signed out lifes away! They asked us to speak the the counsellor there, she was very nice, we discussed a few things and out we were within 5 minutes of talking to her and on the road. 5.5 hours later we are home! HOME SWEET HOME!
- February 2011 3rd IUI with 50mg clomid everything looks the best it ever has to the doc. BFN This was do or die! Last try with IUI's and if it didn't work we knew IVF was the next step. Had high high hopes that this would work (third time is supposed to be the charm isn't it??). It was hard to swallow that we would be doing IVF.... alot of crying and sleeping.
- Early March 2011 get offered IVF but had to decline because the doc wanted 2 cycles off of any fertility drugs :( The IVF nurse called me and told me the calendar, when I would be in Calgary, when I had to go and get bloodtests. And asked if I had any questions. Umm yup...I told her I just did an IUI last cycle with my OBGYN and just making sure nothing there would hinder this. She said being it was only 50mg of clomid that it shouldn't be a problem but that the clinic likes to have you off any meds for 2 months prior to IVF. She called me back and said she had bad news... I held my tears in until after I got off the phone with her. Son of a B&^*#... deep breathes. Thought it had to be next month then and we should be at the top of the list.
- End March 2011 got offered IVF and was given the calendar. This time it was a go and I was so excited!! I finally told my boss of everything that was going on and he was surprised but very supportive. We hired a part time lady on as I was CRAZY busy at work and that way she would be able to cover while I have to stay in Calgary for the 2 weeks. She's such a quick learner and very flexible so I am happy!
- Somewhere in here I got my package from the Pharmacy in the mail. WOW OVERWHELMING!! I had to take a couple deep breathes again and read through everything 3 times until I understood it all. For some reason I thought I would just be doing pen injections and not have to make my own needles (mix water with power in the syringes). Oh boy this could be interesting... will wait to look at that again until the time comes!
- April 10th 2011 Started Sniffing Suprefact to shut down ovaries. It's really not as bad as I thought! I can taste it at the back of my throat sometimes but I know it could be worse!
- April 25 2011Baseline u/s. This I am nervous about because I might get called and told I have a cyst and they are cancelling me once again (story of my life) or it's the call and that I start injections that night. TIME CAN'T GO FAST ENOUGH!!
It's time....
So I finally decided it was time for me to create a blog! I have been wanting a timeline/calendar to go back and look at the journey we have been through. So I have some work to go back and get dates but I know I will really appreciate it in the end!!
Wish me luck!!!
Wish me luck!!!
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